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Talk:American logistics in the Normandy campaign/GA1

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 19:47, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Opening statement

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Hello, and come what may from this review, thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia. During the review, I may make copyedits, which I will limit to spelling correction and minor changes to punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. The Nominator(s) should understand that I am a grammar pedant, and I will nitpick in the interest of prose quality. For responding to my comments, please use  Done,  Fixed, plus Added,  Not done,  Doing..., or minus Removed, followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. —♠Vami_IV†♠ 19:47, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Hawkeye7: We begin. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 17:33, 12 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Article size

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Considering the size of this article, which I consider justified by the magnitude of the topic, the reviewee should know this will take a while. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 19:47, 9 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I will still make some suggestions here and there with the intent of chopping away bytes from the article size. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 11:19, 13 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I don't think that is necessary or desirable. The article is not excessively long, and parallels British logistics in the Normandy campaign. It is rewritten as a featured article, which requires comprehensive coverage of the subject area. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 08:14, 12 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • of whom 459,511 part of the COMZ were part
  • Mulberry artificial port Expand the wikilink here to cover all three words.
  • weeks after the D-Day Axe "the".
  • the advance was much slower than the Operation Overlord anticipated Rephrase.
  • wear and tear, damage Aren't these one and the same?
  • The comma between wear and tear and and accidental damage should be removed.
  • [...]; that to continue the pursuit beyond the Seine had long-term and far-reaching effects. Confusing.
  • [...] to stall the American advance. Changed "to stall" to "stalled".
    checkY The infinitive is correct here. Sentence re-phrased to allow "stalled" to be used. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:47, 12 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Background

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  • Before World War II, the United States had developed War Plan Black for the possibility of a war with Germany. Can you give a date range for this?
  • Chaney opened SPOBS headquarters at US Embassy at 1 Grosvenor Square, A "the" is needed before "SPOBS" and "US Embassy".
  • Marshall and Harry L. Hopkins Give us the latter man's job title.
  • one of whom was selected by Somervell and Lee for Lee's SOS headquarters Is this man important enough to be mentioned here?
  • (OPD) This is the only time this abbreviation is used in the article, so it should be removed.
  • British Army's Scottish Command and Western Command; Change to "Scottish and Western Command" for brevity and consistency with British Northern and Eastern Commands;
  • British Southern and South Eastern Commands "South Eastern Command" needs a wikilink.

Bolero

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  • The section jumps into Bolero without first giving a short explanation of what it was. "Background" gives some context for it, but not enough (and obtained the approval of the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and the British Chiefs of Staff Committee for what became known as Operation Bolero, the buildup of US forces in the UK with the aim of eventually mounting a cross-channel attack.
    That's all it was. What more should it say? Hawkeye7 (discuss) 19:21, 21 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Second Claridge Conference Can you elaborate on what this?
    checkY A series of meetings of the Combined Chiefs at Claridge's in London in July 1942. Deleted Conference name. The important point was that the decision was taken to undertake Torch instead of Sledgehammer, which makes Roundup impossible, and causes Overlord to occur in 1944. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:45, 5 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • proposed 1942 cross-channel attack (Operation Sledgehammer) [...] invasion of French Northwest Africa (Operation Torch) [...] prospective 1943 cross-channel attack (Operation Roundup) I advise the combining of these into linked prose, rather than sequestered links, to take a bit out of the total article size.
    checkY Substituted parenthetical commas for parentheses. Linked prose is undesirable, because we need the codenames later one (and they are more familiar to the causal reader of military history). Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:45, 5 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • This postponement, primary to gain extra month's production [...] Change "primary" to something else.
    checkY Typo. Should be "primarily". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:45, 5 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Organization

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  • Another organization activated on 7 February, far more important as it turned out, was the Advance Section (ADSEC), under the command of Colonel Ewart G. Plank. Condense.
    checkY Deleted "far more important as it turned out" Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:45, 5 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Planning

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Assault

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Shipping

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  • during the first ninety days "ninety" should be a numeral per MOS:NUMERAL
     Not done MOS:NUMERAL: Integers greater than nine expressible in one or two words may be expressed either in numerals or in words. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:06, 6 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • British Brigadier G. C. Blacker Brigadier General?
    checkY The rank of brigadier general was abolished in the British Army in 1922, and replaced by the lesser rank of brigadier. Linked Brigadier (United Kingdom)
  • A consolidated Class V (ammunition) dump This designation never comes up again in the article; just call it an ammo dump.
    checkY That's interesting. I must have tried to keep the jargon down. Done. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:06, 6 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Cargo nets were spread out on the deck, and cargo piled on them. The cargo net with cargo inside was then lifted over the side on the ship's boom, and deposited in a waiting craft. Condense.
    checkY Trimmed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:06, 6 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • amphibious truck, known as Delete this comma.
    checkY Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:06, 6 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • In some cases, DUKWs ran out of fuel. When this happened, their pumps failed, and they sank. Any idea how many DUKWs were lost to this? I won't count it against the article if 'no'.
    I regret that I don't have that information. I've looked though the official histories, and the reports of the 1st ESB and Provisional Engineer Group, but did not find figures for DUKW losses. Unsure if a breakdown by cause exists. Other duck losses were caused by rough seas, striking mines and underwater obstacles, and being run down by landing craft. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:06, 6 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • and occasionally causing one to capsize. One DUKW? The unloading craft suggests 'no', so I suggest "one" with "unloading craft".
    checkY Changed to "them". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:06, 6 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • This was resolved only when started being loaded with one category of supply only. Confusing. Resolved when DUKWs began being loaded with one category?
    checkY Missing word. This was resolved only ships when started being loaded with one category of supply only. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:06, 6 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Cargo deposited on the beach at low tide and if not swiftly cleared was likely to be swamped by the rising tide. was deposited.
    checkY Added missing word. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 02:06, 6 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Mulberry harbor

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  • and there were normally only two quiet spells of good weather four days running between May and September. for four days, or of four days?
    checkY Added "for" Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:24, 7 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • and you had to go out another one-half a mile Rewrite.
    checkY Rewritten. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:24, 7 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • but by October 1943 COSSAC was planning for two, with a second one at Saint-Laurent in the American sector. Condense.
    checkY Condensed. 01:24, 7 May 2020 (UTC)
  • Who are the Seabees?
    From the linked article: "United States Naval Construction Battalions, better known as the Navy Seabees, form the U.S. Naval Construction Force (NCF). The Seabee nickname is a heterograph of the first letters "C B" from the words Construction Battalion." Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:24, 7 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Right, can you just say as much in the prose? –♠Vami_IV†♠ 03:02, 7 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I'm a lifelong resident of the USA and have never seen nor heard that spelling. At any rate, can you link Pontoon bridge, too? —Vami
checkY From that article: "The spelling "ponton" in English dates from at least 1870. The use continued in references found in U.S. patents during the 1890s. It continued to be spelled in that fashion through World War II, when temporary floating bridges were used extensively throughout the European theatre. U.S. combat engineers commonly pronounced the word "ponton" rather than "pontoon" and U.S. military manuals spelled it using a single 'o'. The U.S. military differentiated between the bridge itself ("ponton") and the floats used to provide buoyancy ("pontoon")." Linked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:04, 7 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Ordnance

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Subsistence

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  • The D-ration was chocolate bar. A chocolate bar.
    checkY added indefinite article. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:24, 7 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • which was unfortunate as it was those rations' primary sources of vitamin C. Delete "which was unfortunate" and move the rest to the front of the sentence. A la: The lemon powder in the C and K rations, their primary sources of vitamin C, was particularly unpopular with the troops, who frequently discarded it or used it for things like scrubbing floors.
    checkY Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:24, 7 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

POL

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Base organization

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Railways

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Motor transport

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Outcome

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  • neither the Ruhr nor the Saar was reached in 1944 were reached
    The singular form nof the verb is correct here. Two singular subjects connected by or, either/or, or neither/nor require a singular verb.. [1]
  • This was exacerbated by senior commanders [...] This was exacerbated by the poor supply discipline The latter of these two sentences immediately follows the former.
    checkY joined the two with a conjunction. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:50, 8 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

GA progress

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Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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