Talk:All Along the Watchtower/GA1
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:41, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
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Just like I told you I would review this! --K. Peake 07:41, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- I'm not sure if it is appropriate to caption the artwork as the Netherlands single picture sleeve when that release is not mentioned anywhere
- Removed - will replace if a suitable source is identified. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:41, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- The B-side is not sourced anywhere in the body
- It looks like the single might only have been released in the Netherlands and in Germany; it's not mentioned in UK/US discographies in books like Krogsgaard's Positively Bob Dylan: A Thirty-Year Discography, Concert and Recording Session Guide, 1960-1991, Hinton's Bob Dylan Complete discography (2006) or Leigh's Bob Dylan: Outlaw Blues (2020). I'll remove from the article, and restore it if a source is found. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:37, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- Even if the release date and territories are uncertain, can't you at least find a source calling this a single? --K. Peake 08:07, 2 June 2022 (UTC)
- Apart from not being in the sources above, it's also not on Olof Bjorner's site, or in Nogowski's Bob Dylan: A Descriptive, Critical Discography and Filmography, 1961-2020. Nogowski states that there were no singles from John Wesley Harding. If I knew where else to look for German or Dutch releases, I would. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:04, 2 June 2022 (UTC)
- Move the audio sample to being in composition and lyrical interpretation instead of the infobox
- Moved audio sample to composition section. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:12, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "which was first released on his eighth studio album," → "from his eighth studio album," and place the release year in brackets instead
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:59, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- The single release sentence should be the one directly after writing/production for the correct order
- See other comments re single release. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:01, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "contain twelve lines," → "contain 12 lines," per MOS:NUM
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:59, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- "Dylan has also released several" → "Dylan has released several" and add a sentence before this one about the critical reception
- Wording changed from previous edits done below. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:17, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "and versions of the song are included on several of his" → "and versions of the song are included on some of his" to be less repetitive
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:01, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- Wikilink greatest hits
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:59, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- "recorded for the album Electric Ladyland with the Jimi Hendrix Experience." → "recorded with the Jimi Hendrix Experience for their third studio album, Electric Ladyland (1968)."
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:01, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- Add a sentence after the above one providing background on why Hendrix covered Dylan's work
- Sentence addition. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:07, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- Also, you could do with adding another one before the release and reception here about the musical style of the cover
- Added. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:10, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- Are you sure the release was really six months later?
- Current version says: "over a month prior to the album release". ErnestKrause (talk) 16:12, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- Rather than top 20 single, shouldn't you write that it reached the top 20 on the US Billboard Hot 100?
- Your version used. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:14, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- The original 48th ranking on the greatest songs of all time is not sourced
- In-line source is stated for the Rolling Stone top 500 list and its year; there was the 2004 list and the 2021 list, both with in-line citations. ErnestKrause (talk) 18:47, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- I looked and only the 40th ranking is listed in the body, so you need to mention both. --K. Peake 08:07, 2 June 2022 (UTC)
- In-line source is stated for the Rolling Stone top 500 list and its year; there was the 2004 list and the 2021 list, both with in-line citations. ErnestKrause (talk) 18:47, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- "He has performed "All Along the Watchtower" live more than any of his other songs," → "The singer has performed the song live more than any of his other ones," but none of this sentence appears to be sourced in the body
- Amended text. It's based on "critic Michael Gray noted that this is the most often performed of all of Dylan's songs.[68] According to Dylan's own website, by May 2022 he had performed the song 2,268 times.[69]" which may need rewording to clarify. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:59, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
Bob Dylan original version
[edit]Background and recording
[edit]- Wikilink acoustic guitar
- Wikilink harmonica
- "sessions, Charlie McCoy on" → "sessions: Charlie McCoy on"
- Amended as per the three points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:01, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- "was the second single from the album, released on" → "was released as the second single from the album on" and this sentence should be moved somewhere else, as the sub-section is background and recording
- Removed as per current lack of sourcing noted above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:01, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
Composition and lyrical interpretation
[edit]- Per the title writing composition first, shouldn't the music sub-section come before the lyrics one?
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:07, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
Lyrics
[edit]- "which Financial Times writer Dan Einac" → "which the Financial Times writer Dan Einac"
- Pipe CBS to CBS Records International
- "commensurate with his status."" → "commensurate with his status"." per MOS:QUOTE
- "to give him his due."" → "to give him his due"."
- "In the New York Times, Robert Palmer expressed his opinion that as" → "In The New York Times, Robert Palmer expressed his opinion that" with the wikilink and pipe
- Pipe balladeer to Sentimental ballad
- "chronological time: "at the" → "chronological time, noting "at the"
- "the myth began again."" → "the myth began again"."
- "in "Watchtower" as" → "in the song as"
- "own (doom-laden) blanks."" → "own (doom-laden) blanks"."
- Amended per the ten points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:07, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
Music
[edit]- "The composition of the music of the song" → "The music of the song"
- "who wrote that "The song's" → "who writes, "The song's"
- "of two pitches"." → "of two pitches."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences
- "blues influence in the song which" → "blues influence in the song, which" with the wikilink
- "Zak compares Dylan's lyrics in "Watchtower"" → "He compares Dylan's lyrics in the song"
- "Johnson's "Me and the Devil Blues" stating" → "Johnson's "Me and the Devil Blues" (1938), stating"
- Amended per the six points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:24, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
Critical reception
[edit]- I would suggest retitling this to Release and reception, then you can move the single release date to the start of the sub-section
- See comments aboe about the single release. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:29, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- You can keep this title with no single release, but shouldn't the album release info be moved here per relevancy? --K. Peake 09:16, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "of The Los Angeles Times wrote" → "of the Los Angeles Times wrote"
- "but felt the recording of the song seemed" → "but felt the recording seems"
- Pipe Bucks Examiner to Buckinghamshire Examiner
- ", and also by Troy Irvine of" → "This sentiment was shared by Troy Irvine of"
- "Dylan, McCoy and Buttrey," → "Dylan, McCoy, and Buttrey,"
- "three succinct verses"" → "three succinct verses"."
- "rated it 31st in" → "listed the song 31st in"
- Amended per the seven points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:29, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
The Jimi Hendrix experience version
[edit]- None of the B-sides or genres listed are sourced in the prose
- Added into prose using Shapiro book for citation and linking to Wikipedia article for B-side USA version; British version is quoted on jacket image featured in Infobox (can do formal citation if needed). ErnestKrause (talk) 19:11, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- You forgot to pipe B-side to A-side and B-side, unlike the above text seems to imply. --K. Peake 08:07, 2 June 2022 (UTC)
- Current version reads: "issued the song as a single on September 2, 1968 with the B-side featuring "Burning of the Midnight Lamp"...". Is that sufficient to identify it? ErnestKrause (talk) 16:19, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- You forgot to pipe B-side to A-side and B-side, unlike the above text seems to imply. --K. Peake 08:07, 2 June 2022 (UTC)
- Added into prose using Shapiro book for citation and linking to Wikipedia article for B-side USA version; British version is quoted on jacket image featured in Infobox (can do formal citation if needed). ErnestKrause (talk) 19:11, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
- "recorded for the album Electric Ladyland with the group." → "recorded with the group for their third studio album Electric Ladyland."
- Enhanced the wording. ErnestKrause (talk) 18:53, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
Music
[edit]- Each of the items below in this Music section has been added into the article. ErnestKrause (talk) 16:28, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- Shouldn't the blues influences be mentioned first since genre-related text is best to start music areas?
- "but it involves adding a" → "involving adding a"
- "sense of tumult"." → "sense of tumult."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences
- Second para looks good!
- "written on both the Dylan and the Hendrix versions" → "written of both the Dylan and Hendrix versions"
- "style of Muddy Waters stating:" → "style of Muddy Waters, stating:"
Recording
[edit]- All items below in Recording section now addressed in article. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:37, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- Any date specified for the first day?
- It was before the 26th in January. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:37, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "an additional twelve-string guitar." → "an additional 12-string guitar." per MOS:NUM
- Pipe Rolling Stones to The Rolling Stones
- Pipe mixed to Audio mixing (recorded music)
- Specify the year of the mixing date
- Wikilink overdubbing
- None of the info is sourced from the American Songwriter ref
Release, charts, and certifications
[edit]- "on September 2, 1968 with" → "on September 2, 1968, with"
- "on Billboard' Hot 100 chart, Hendrix's" → "on the US Billboard Hot 100, standing as Hendrix's" with the pipe
- See MOS:TABLECAPTION for the certifications
- All 3 now addressed. Not fully sure why table captions is being listed here. ErnestKrause (talk) 20:41, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
Impact of the Hendrix recording on Dylan's performances
[edit]- "In the booklet accompanying his" → "In the booklet accompanying his 1985"
- The Band → the Band per MOS:THEMUSIC on all occasions, unless starting a sentence
- Amended per both points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:13, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- Shouldn't you introduce the tour as eponymous or something like that to be specific about its title in prose?
- Reworked slightly (both 66 and 74 tour mentions). BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:13, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- This looks fabulous! --K. Peake 09:16, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- "Dylan " practically conceded" → "Dylan "practically conceded" to avoid excess spacing
- "wrote that "In effect," → "wrote: "In effect,"
- Amended per the two points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:13, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- "of his own song"." → "of his own song."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences
- Not done, as the original continues the sentence "of his own song, and that story continues ..." BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:13, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- "and his delivery of lyrics more" → "and his delivery of lyrics become more"
- "as we can know."" → "as we can know"."
- "Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I'll Go Mine)" → "Most Likely You Go Your Way and I'll Go Mine" with the wikilink
- Pipe the Forum to Kia Forum
- Amended per the three points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:03, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- None of the info is sourced from the Ultimate Classic Rock ref
- Changed the refs for this. (Leigh ref is there as Bjorner does not verify that "All Along the Watchtower" was the B-side.) BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:13, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- "by May 2022 he" → "by November 2018, he" per the source
- "goes on to say that "The" → "goes on to say, "The"
- Amended per the two points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:13, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- Even though the Grateful Dead covering the song is sourced, the first verse part is not
- Removed this. Possible original research. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:13, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
Legacy
[edit]- "by dozens of artists including" → "by dozens of artists, including"
- "on White Music (1978), U2 on" → "on White Music (1978), and U2 on"
- Amended per the two points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:22, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- Italicise Rolling Stone and mention both lists
- "both lists":
- Both lists now adapted into edit. ErnestKrause (talk) 20:33, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- "is included at" → "was included at"
- "Jimi Hendrix's version of" → "His version of"
- Pipe Billboard to Billboard (magazine)
- "of the 20 greatest Jimi Hendrix songs," → "of the 20 greatest Hendrix songs,"
- "of the 10 greatest Jimi Hendrix songs." → "of his 10 greatest songs."
- "in dozens of films including" → "in dozens of films, including" also adding a comma after Watchmen
- Amended per the six points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:22, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
Official releases on Bob Dylan albums
[edit]- Pipe MTV Unplugged to MTV Unplugged (Bob Dylan album)
- Neil Young should only be wikilinked on the first instance
- The Original Mono Recordings should only be wikilinked on the first instance
- Amended per the three points above. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:24, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
Official releases on Jimi Hendrix albums
[edit]- Good
References
[edit]- Copyvio score looks too high at an estimated 81.2%; cut down the level of direct quoting to fix this
- After looking at this in some detail, it appears that the larger portion of this is from mirror sites which have been copying the Wikipedia article sometimes with explicit attribution and sometimes without. The copyvio app gives a general feedback percentage based on aggregate similarity which I do not think is due to defects in the Wikipedia article. They are mirror sites which are copying freely from Wikipedia as an open source. ErnestKrause (talk) 14:48, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- I did notice that too, but a good portion of this is due to direct quoting from the source at the top. --K. Peake 09:16, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- The quote from the Bible I'm leaving as is without copyvio issues; the other two quotes in that section at the top I've shorten a bit so that they are not too long. ErnestKrause (talk) 23:38, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- Nice job, we've established the tool is a bit faulty here so slight copyvio match is acceptable! --K. Peake 06:53, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- Given that the American Songwriter article was only published three months ago, I think it's very possible to argue that there was an element of backwards-copying (WP:BACKWARDSCOPY) involved, if one looks at a version of the Wikipedia article from just before that time period. Given that, I've replaced that source with Van Ronk's book, to avoid possible problems with WP:CIRCULAR. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 09:52, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
Citations
[edit]Cites currently updated for entire list below. Should all be integrated. ErnestKrause (talk) 20:27, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- Wikilink The Arizona Republic on ref 3
- Refs 15 and 16 are duplicates of ref 14
- All of them are in harvard cites; retaining only #16 at the end of the paragraph since they all are using the same page. ErnestKrause (talk) 14:53, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- Wikilink Financial Times on ref 17
- Refs 18 and 23 are duplicates of ref 9
- pp. 130–1 → pp. 130–131 on ref 20
- Refs 22, 42 and 64 are duplicates of ref 21
- Author-link Robert Palmer (writer) and wikilink The New York Times on ref 24
- Ref 27 is a duplicate of ref 2
- The American Songwriter → American Songwriter on ref 30 with the wikilink
- Wikilink Los Angeles Times on ref 32
- Pipe Bucks Examiner to Buckinghamshire Examiner on ref 33
- Ref 36 is a duplicate of ref 5
- Author-link Alexis Petridis and wikilink The Guardian on ref 37
- Refs 41, 48 and 49 are duplicates of ref 39
- Refs 44 and 45 are duplicates of ref 43
- Remove wikilink on American Songwriter for ref 51
- Refs 55 and 81 are duplicates of ref 51
- Pipe Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel to Sun-Sentinel on ref 58
- Refs 61, 62, 68, 71 and 73 are duplicates of ref 10
- Ref 66 is a duplicate of ref 65
- Wikilink Ultimate Classic Rock on ref 67
- Wikilink Rolling Stone on ref 76
- Wikilink Guitar World on ref 78
Bibliography
[edit]All of the links below now incorporated; italic not allowed in param fields. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:12, 2 June 2022 (UTC)
- Wikilink Southwest Review
- Wikilink Hodder & Stoughton
- Pipe Carlton to Welbeck Publishing Group if this is the correct article
- Pipe Continuum International to Continuum International Publishing Group
- Wikilink Constable & Robinson
- Wikilink Faber and Faber
- Wikilink Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers
- Pipe Penguin/Viking to Viking Press
- Wikilink St. Martin's Press
- Wikilink Grove Press
- Pipe Thunder's Mouth Press to Perseus Books Group per MOS:LINK2SECT
- Billboard Books → Billboard Books and pipe to Billboard Books
- Italic not allowed in param fields. ErnestKrause (talk) 15:12, 2 June 2022 (UTC)
- Wikilink Omnibus Press
External links
[edit]- Good
Final comments and verdict
[edit]On hold until all of the issues are fixed; I await your review shortly! --K. Peake 12:44, 2 June 2022 (UTC)
- ErnestKrause Thanks for getting started on this; when will you have probably implemented these changes by? --K. Peake 09:42, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- That was a pretty thorough review which both co-nominators appreciate. It may take a few more days to complete everything, and we've just located what looks like a cover sleeve for the singles release. It would be nice to do all of these updates in appreciation of your thorough comments. ErnestKrause (talk) 13:55, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
- ErnestKrause I am confident in myself after your appreciation of the review; responding periodically to you is fine for me and I don't mind you taking your own time at all! --K. Peake 09:16, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
- ErnestKrause Great job on this, but I would say that you still need to add text about what the audio sample illustrates of the song, add a caption for the certifications table and link B-side to A-side and B-side. --K. Peake 20:49, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- Benny had a question if you might be able to figure out the copyright issue for the cover jackets already located for the English version and German version of the single, and maybe you can help figure out how to put it into Wikimedia so that Benny could then add it to the article; These are the images already found here: [1]. [2]. [3]. [4]. ErnestKrause (talk) 21:08, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- I think I may have found a reliable source for the European singles. See my post at Wikipedia:Reliable_sources/Noticeboard#Searching_for_a_Gem_(www.searchingforagem.com). Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:33, 5 June 2022 (UTC)
- BennyOnTheLoose That seems like a decent source, so you could use it for a single release, but I'm not sure how to upload files to Wikimedia without copyright and cover art is not required anyway. --K. Peake 06:48, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- I've made amendments to address the points about what the audio sample illustrates of the song, a caption for the certifications table and linkin for B-side. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:11, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- ✓ Pass now, good job even though I did a bit of copy editing for you! --K. Peake 20:54, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: Many thanks, as ever, for your thorough and patient review. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 22:32, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- ✓ Pass now, good job even though I did a bit of copy editing for you! --K. Peake 20:54, 6 June 2022 (UTC)
- Benny had a question if you might be able to figure out the copyright issue for the cover jackets already located for the English version and German version of the single, and maybe you can help figure out how to put it into Wikimedia so that Benny could then add it to the article; These are the images already found here: [1]. [2]. [3]. [4]. ErnestKrause (talk) 21:08, 5 June 2022 (UTC)