Talk:Aleksandr Borisovich Rodionov/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 09:32, 19 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I will take a look at this one, comments to follow in due course. Zawed (talk) 09:32, 19 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

...held division command...: grammatically, shouldn't it be "divisional commands"? Ditto "as a division chief of staff"?

Good catch, fixed

Early life

the uyezd military: translation for uyezd? Ditto for politruk used in next section

Done

Interwar period

he was sent to the Refresher course: unless that is the name of the course, I don't think that title case should be used here?

Correct title, this is the translation of the word that English-language military historians use

at Irkutsk, and upon graduation in June 1928 was...: comma should be after "and" and one added after 1928

Done

In July 1940 then-Major Rodionov: don't think the hyphen should be there in this context, suggest "In July 1940 the then Major Rodionov"

Done

1st (operational) staff department : shouldn't this be in title case for consistency with e.g. Eastern Department. There seems to be a bit of inconsistency throughout as to how "department" is treated.

Good catch, just capitalized it as per practice in academic histories of the Eastern Front. Also changed translation of the same word to 'operations' from 'operational' to make it sound more native, as also used in David Glantz's books.

link 112th Rifle Division?

Linked, article forthcoming.

Three days later, the division and its 22nd Army received orders: this wording suggests 22nd Army was subordinate to the division, not the other way round. I also suggest specifying the approximate location of the Western Dvina line here.

Done

World War II

was 40 km from Neve: suggest adding conversion to miles

Done

On his way other encircled groups joined the group,: suggest replacing one instance of group/groups with party/parties to avoid repetitious language

Done

I don't suppose a lot can be done about it, but the language referring to his various staff positions is quite repetitive. Maybe consider sacrificing a bit of specificity for one or two, and refer to "performing at a similar role with X Army" or "staff roles" or similar. Also suggest linking chief of staff on first mention

Changed the wording a bit, I'd prefer not to sacrifice specificity. Kges1901 (talk) 12:10, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

the army fought in the Kalinin Defensive operation,: perhaps briefly explain what this was for context?

Rephrased, another article on my to-do list.

on 17 September then-Lieutenant Colonel Rodionov: as in previous section, I don't think the hyphen should be there

Done

acting commander of the army's 32nd Rifle Division: presumably the 39th Army, not the Red Army, is intended?

Done

...Bondari on 3 February 1944." this is part of a quotation, so a cite should immediately follow it. Ditto for the later mention of "regular drinking binges".

Done. Clarified the drinking binges quote - the unit war diary explicitly mentioned used this wording.

Do the sources say where he is buried?

Added.

Other stuff

Have to AGF on sources although this is not a concern to me due to the history of nominator
Suggest rendering the translation of the title of Chekunov ref in title case as per other sources

Done

In the bibliography, the co-authors for Tsapayev should be identified, particularly since they appear to be named in the citations section

Done

Image tags OK, portrait image has fair use tag

That's it for me. Zawed (talk) 04:01, 23 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Looks all good, I added the translation for politruk, I think there may have been a misunderstanding of my comment on that point. Passing as GA now as I believe that this article meets the necessary criteria. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:41, 25 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]