Talk:Alec Bohm/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 15:02, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Shall review for the July 2021 GAN Backlog Drive MWright96 (talk) 15:02, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Lead

"where he led the state of Nebraska in batting average his senior year." - batting average during his senior year.
"and accepted a scholarship offer to play for Wichita State." - clarify it was college baseball and that it was the shockers at the end of the name of the college

Early life

Bohm's birth date is missing from this section and verify it with a reliable source
"In the summer of 2015," - try avoiding using seasons per MOS:SEASON

College career

"hitting a home run in his first at-bat with the Shockers." - Wikipedia:LIMITED violation here
"He led the American Athletic Conference in runs scored (57) and home runs." - how many home runs did Bohm score in that season?
Wikilink the term double to the relevant article only on the first mention

Minor league career

The term third base should be wikilink to the appropriate article only on the first mention
"Bohm signed with superagent Scott Boras in April 2020. [34]" - the space between the period and the ref is not needed

Philadelphia Phillies

"On August 13, 2020, Bohm made his MLB debut[35] against the Baltimore Orioles." - the reference should ideally be placed at the end of this sentence
"Bohm finished the season hitting .338/.400/.481 with four home runs and 23 RBIs in 44 games. - needs to verified by a reliable source

References

The hyphen in the title of Reference 4 should be replaced by an en dash per MOS:DASH
It needs to made clear that Reference 7 "The path that led Alec Bohm from a small Nebraska high school to the Phillies' top draft pick" needs a subscription for the source to be accessed
Same issue as above with Reference 12 "Cape Leaguers Dominate MLB Draft"
Reference 34 is a bare url and needs to be fully formatted
The Philadelphia Inquirer should be the work not the publisher in Reference 39 since it is a printed newspaper

Shall put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above MWright96 (talk) 17:11, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

MWright96 As the nominator appears to have vanished, and I had several points of improvement that I found on my end, I have taken the liberty of more or less rewriting the article, to keep it from failing GA. Inevitably, it will need another review. Ping me when ready. — Ghost River 21:16, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Review will not be completed

I pinged MWright96 on their talk page, and they will not be returning to this review. Accordingly, I have returned the nomination to the pool of those awaiting a reviewer without any loss of seniority; the next review will take place on a different page from this one. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:35, 1 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.