Talk:Alanah Pearce/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Steelkamp (talk · contribs) 03:25, 29 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hello. I will be reviewing this article. Steelkamp (talk) 03:25, 29 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

I've made some minor changes to the article myself. I hope your fine with them. Steelkamp (talk) 06:52, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Steelkamp, really appreciate your detailed review of the article and the tweaks you made. Sorry for the delay - I'll be leaving my responses and changes to the article within a day. Aranya (talk) 17:53, 15 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I am still concerned that the article does not meet the requirements for being broad in coverage. Therefore, I will fail this good article review. Steelkamp (talk) 11:36, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Steelkamp, I totally agree with your reasoning in failing. If you don't mind I'll still leave the replies I was intending to before, since I still want to address your points. Thanks again for doing this review and my apologies for drawing this process out. Aranya (talk) 19:35, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Why doesn't the article use DMY date format? The subject has strong national ties to Australia. Steelkamp (talk) 06:52, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Agreed - I changed it to DMY when I first saw your review, earlier. Aranya (talk) 19:35, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Having many short paragraphs inhibits the flow of the text. Some paragraphs there can be combined together. Steelkamp (talk) 06:52, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I've reorganized a bit in the process of addressing the other points. Aranya (talk) 19:35, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The sentence on her youtube channel could be higher in the article, because it has been active since 2012, and the surrounding paragraphs are about late 2020. Steelkamp (talk) 06:52, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Moved that higher. Aranya (talk) 19:35, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
What is Funhaus? What type of videos does it make? Reviews? General gaming? I ask this because Inside Gaming is specified as a news program, and I think the same can be done for Funhaus. Steelkamp (talk) 06:52, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I added that it "produces videos focused on video games" Aranya (talk) 19:35, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
She left Rooster Teeth in October 2020. – This sentence can be expanded to say She left Rooster Teeth in October 2020, saying she has another opportunity she "couldn't say no to." Steelkamp (talk) 06:52, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I feel like that's a bit unnecessary context, and we talk about the opportunity in the next sentence. Aranya (talk) 19:35, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Source 11 states that she has 102,000 Twitch followers, but the page does not mention Twitch at all. Steelkamp (talk) 06:52, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I was thinking about adding that, but I couldn't anything more than brief mentions of her channel (apart from that article) to justify inclusion. Maybe future articles will cover her Twitch in the future, given the large amount of followers? Aranya (talk) 19:35, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Source 4 says "But running her own channel gave her the opportunity to hone her video production skills, get comfortable speaking on camera, and share her thoughts and feelings about games." I reckon the paragraph on her youtube channel can be elaborated on. Steelkamp (talk) 06:52, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I was thinking somewhere along the lines of "Running a YouTube channel has enabled her to practice video production and how to speak on camera." Even though it's a pretty reasonable claim, I'm not too comfortable adding it with the given SVG.com article though, since it's not a quote from Pearce herself and I'm not sure how the author came to that conclusion. Aranya (talk) 19:35, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
More can be elaborated on her move to the United States. Source 4 has some information there. Write the reason she moved there, her visa issues prior to getting a job at IGN and her temporary move back to Australia. Steelkamp (talk) 06:52, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
That's a good idea - added the reason for her move, since that's relevant to her career. I had details on the visa in an earlier revision but another editor removed it as an obvious detail. Aranya (talk) 19:35, 22 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Article has 1 image, which appears to be licensed correctly. Search on google reveals no other creative commons licensed images of Alanah Pearce, plus 1 image is adequate for an article of this size anyway. The image criteria is passed. Steelkamp (talk) 06:52, 7 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]