Talk:Agenda Europe

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Europe

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Potential rewrite, requesting critique

Hello!

I've been trying to remove the issues on the page, foremost the neutrality and close paraphrasing, over on my sandbox. While I've not entirely rewritten the article (the section on campaign legislation is mostly unchanged aside from changing some sources, for example), I have substantially modified its layout and content to hopefully remedy the aforementioned issues.

I'd like to get some feedback on my revisions, what I should change, etc.. What I'm the most concerned about is if I've gone too far in the opposite direction in regards to neutrality. The current article feels too biased against the group, but I definitely don't want to be biased towards the group by defanging them. I'm still getting used to what WP expects from me in writing, so I'd appreciate anyone more experienced to look my potential revisions over, critique, and eventually move the article over.

Thank you. 🎜Oktavia Miki🎝_talk 00:56, 6 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Saw the notice on the wikiproject LGBT noticeboard, your rewrite looks great! Only thing I'd recommend changing is perhaps keeping a little more of the context in the current financing section. TheTranarchist ⚧ Ⓐ (talk) 01:31, 6 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

What do you mean? 🎜Oktavia Miki🎝_talk 02:25, 6 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

For example:

Patrick Slim Domit, son of multi-billionaire Carlos Slim Helú is one of the biggest funders of anti-abortion movements in Mexico and around the world. vs Vincente Segu, who heads the Mexican anti-SRR organisation Incluyendo Mexico

Archduke Imre and his wife, Archduchess Kathleen, representing the Habsburg-Lorraine family (Austria's last imperial family), who have lent their patronage to many of the group's initiatives (the family's wealth is between $63 million and $207 million). vs Archduke Imre and Archduchess Kathleen of Hapsburg-Lorraine

Alexey Komov, representative of the Russian Orthodox Church, is sponsored by the far-right multimillionaire oligarch Konstantin Malofeev, was in charge of the foundation's international projects. vs Alexey Komov, programme officer at the Saint Basil the Great Charitable Foundation in Russia

The examples in the current document offer more context for their similar campaigning and their specific roles and actions with Agenda Europe.

Somewhat relatedly, I'd been sitting on a collection of sources on Novae Terrae and started working on drafting the article earlier today. I'll try and have the article up in the next few days! TheTranarchist ⚧ Ⓐ (talk) 02:50, 6 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I see. I'll add those to the draft since that does make sense. 🎜Oktavia Miki🎝_talk 16:20, 6 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]