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Talk:Adrenal gland/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Looie496 (talk · contribs) 12:32, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'm delighted to be able to review such an important article. On a preliminary reading it looks like there isn't much to be done -- I noticed a few spots where a little copy-editing could be done; I'll try to fix simple problems as I go if the fixes seem clearly uncontroversial. Looie496 (talk) 12:32, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

My plan is to go over the article systematically. Since it is a long article that covers a lot of material, it will probably take a few days to go over the whole thing. I will start with the lead, and add points as I go.

Lead

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  • How about adding a mention of the most important adrenal hormones to the first sentence? When Wikipedia articles show up in a Google search or on a mobile device the first sentence is very prominent, so this would be helpful to readers. Looie496 (talk) 13:11, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Looie496 (talk) 12:08, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "consist of a number of different layers that directly influence the structure and function of the glands" -- this is extremely awkward wording. I don't even understand what it means. Looie496 (talk) 13:11, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Looie496 (talk) 12:08, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Looie496 (talk) 12:08, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Looie496 (talk) 12:08, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done I don't quite agree, but I won't fight about it. Looie496 (talk) 12:08, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think the third paragraph ("Regulation of synthesis...") could be deleted from the lead. If you think it needs to be there, it should be modified to make it clearer to the reader why the information it contains is of top-level importance. Looie496 (talk) 13:11, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Looie496 (talk) 12:08, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

That's it for the lead, at least for now. (I made a few copy-edits in the process. Let me mention that the text shows numerous errors in the use of commas. The authors might find it beneficial to read up on the correct way of using them.) Looie496 (talk) 13:11, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Structure

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 Done removed, agree this was off topic. --Tom (LT) (talk) 08:32, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Looie496 (talk) 12:17, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Cortex
  • "Specific cortical cells produce particular hormones including aldosterone, cortisol, and androgens such as androstenedione." What exactly does this mean? Each hormone is produced by a set of cells that produce only that hormone and no other? Looie496 (talk) 14:38, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Looie496 (talk) 12:17, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Under normal unstressed conditions, the human adrenal glands produce the equivalent of 35–40 mg of cortisone acetate per day" What does "equivalent" mean here? Why is this useful to know? Looie496 (talk) 14:38, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done removed, not useful to know. --Tom (LT) (talk) 08:32, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Zona glomerulosa
  • "The expression of neuron-specific proteins ..." This whole paragraph is jibber-jabber to me. I don't think it belongs in this article. If it does, the reason why needs to come through much more clearly. Looie496 (talk) 14:38, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done removed . --Tom (LT) (talk) 08:32, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Zona fasciculata
 Done Looie496 (talk) 12:17, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done reworded, readers do not really need to know about the pale staining, but they do about lipid droplets. --Tom (LT) (talk) 08:32, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Blood supply
This has been reworded for the better, but it still needs to be made clearer why this information is important enough to belong in a basic article like this. Looie496 (talk) 12:17, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done (paragraph removed) Looie496 (talk) 12:01, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Variability
  • This short section needs to be fleshed out with information about what causes these variations and what their consequences are. If that is covered elsewhere in the article, summarize very briefly and give a pointer. Looie496 (talk) 15:00, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Not done (yet) Looie496 (talk) 12:26, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Function

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Corticosteroid production
  • It would be helpful to readers for this section to give a very brief description of what glucocortoids do, what the HPA axis does, what mineralocortoids do, and what the RAAS does. Perhaps this could be done in a short introductory paragraph, as for catecholamines in the following section? Looie496 (talk) 16:25, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done (with a small copy-edit) Looie496 (talk) 12:21, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Looie496 (talk) 12:21, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Catecholamine production
 Done Looie496 (talk) 12:21, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Effects of adrenal hormones
 Done The mention of corticosterone will suffice for the moment. I think the article could be improved by addition of an account of the comparative biology and evolution of the adrenal glands, but I won't hold up the GA for that -- I might add something myself after the review is over. Looie496 (talk) 12:21, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Mineralocorticoids
 Done Reworded --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 06:50, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Its effects are on the distal convoluted tubule and collecting duct of the kidney" This wording makes it seem like these are the only effects, but later in the paragraph effects on the colon are described. Are there also active receptors in other parts of the body? Looie496 (talk) 16:25, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Reworded and simplified. --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 06:50, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think the second half of this paragraph gives too much detail. The roles of angiotensin and potassium in regulating aldosterone production should probably be mentioned, but I fell like the rest could be left out. Looie496 (talk) 16:25, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done That was a verbatim copy of a paragraph in Aldosterone. I think it's alright there, but here it gives too much detail. I also removed most of the text about the RAAS (which is covered in "Regulation") and added one or two sentences to mention blood pressure. --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 06:50, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Glucocorticoids
 Done --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 06:50, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Adrenal androgens
  • "In general, these hormones do not have an overall effect in the male body" This wording suggests that they do have an effect in the female body. If that's not true, the wording should be revised here. Looie496 (talk) 16:25, 20 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Not done (yet) Looie496 (talk) 12:21, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Adrenaline and noradrenaline
 Done Looie496 (talk) 12:21, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Development

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Medulla
  • "this differentiation" The preceding sentence does not say anything about a differentiation. Presumably this refers to the differentiation of chromaffin cells from some sort of predecessor, but one way or another the paragraph needs to explicitly say what sort of differentiation is meant. Looie496 (talk) 13:06, 22 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 06:52, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Clinical significance

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  • How about adding a brief introductory paragraph at the start -- a sentence or two saying that diseases, tumors, or genetic conditions can cause the adrenal glands to malfunction in various ways. Looie496 (talk) 12:51, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 09:08, 26 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • I feel like each of the sections below should indicate how serious the condition is. Is it something a person can live with, or a serious impairment to life, or likely to be fatal? Can they be treated? Looie496 (talk) 12:51, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Adrenal insufficiency
 Done --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 09:08, 26 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Addison's disease
 Done --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 09:08, 26 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Secondary and tertiary adrenal insufficiency
Honestly I don't know how relevant the disease is, clinically. Harrison's and other sources barely mention it under the secondary insufficiencies – I removed it for now, but I don't mind putting it back if it needs to be there. --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 09:08, 26 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Congenital adrenal hyperplasia
  • "production of other corticosteroids" If the human adrenal glands produce corticosteroids other than cortisol, this article ought to say so somewhere, and say something about what they are and what quantity they are produced in. Looie496 (talk) 12:51, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done – replaced corticosteroids with adrenal steroids. --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 09:08, 26 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

History

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  • I find no issues in this section, but the mention of cortisone at the end led me to look at that article, and it's clear to me that this article ought to cover it in the corticosteroid section. Looie496 (talk) 12:58, 23 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
 Done – I replaced that bit about cortisone to reflect what the source states, but also added a sentence or two about cortisone in Function. --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 09:49, 26 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Responses

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Thanks very much for your detailed review, Looie496, it is really appreciated. I'll try to make some immediate changes and anything that needs references I'll respond to within a week or two. I'm sorry it can't be sooner. --Tom (LT) (talk) 07:38, 21 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Passing

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I'm going to approve this article now. There are a couple of issues I raised above that haven't been addressed, but I'm comfortable that the article is easily good enough to be rated GA. Best wishes! Looie496 (talk) 12:11, 26 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your thorough review and friendly manner, Looie496.--Tom (LT) (talk) 23:00, 26 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
Many thanks for your review Looie, I feel the article improved in quality and readability. I'll go through the points that left unanswered as I search for sources over the next days. See you around --Tilifa Ocaufa (talk) 02:13, 27 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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