Talk:Adrenal crisis/GA3

GA Review

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Nominator: IntentionallyDense (talk · contribs) 04:13, 3 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: DoctorWhoFan91 (talk · contribs) 06:36, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one. Expect remarks in a few hours. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 06:36, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll go section by section.

Lead

Remove the technical terms in parenthesis- the lead does not have to be technical

Done Special:Permalink/1254409381 IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Signs and symptoms

In an adrenal crisis, hypotension occurs due to hypocortisolism and is secondary to hypovolemia.: What does this mean? Done

Does this look better? IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Diagnosis

First para is slightly confusing, and reads kind of like a manual, rephrase. Done

Does this look better? IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prevention

which is a serious cause for concern.: I'm not sure if this is encyclopaedic. Done

Removed. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Use different words than "should" for most/all instances; should here and in the article as a whole makes it sound like a manual most of the time Done

Fixed. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Treatment

along with suppress antidiuretic hormone: typo? Done

Changed wording to make clearer. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Outlook

People with hypoadrenalism are more likely to die from adrenal crises; the death rate from adrenal crises can amount to 6% of crisis events: huh? rephrase Done

Rephrased, hopefully that is clearer. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Epidemiology

all fine

Special Populations

Older adults frequently experience falls and fractures, which may be linked to postural hypotension, especially in those who have primary adrenal insufficiency.: rephrase to center primary adrenal insufficiency Done

I'm not 100% sure what you meant by this but I rephrased it as Older adults, especially those who have primary adrenal insufficiency, frequently experience falls and fractures, which may be linked to postural hypotension. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Older people ... the same population.: Merge these paragraphs, too small alone Done

Done. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Most cases of adrenal insufficiency in pregnancy are identified before conception.: Rephrase, I understand what it means, but in pregnancy and before conception is just jarring Done

I just removed the "in pregnancy" part as it seems a bit unneeded. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

It has been estimated that 5–10 episodes of adrenal crisis occur for every 100 patient-years in those with adrenal insufficiency: What is this sentence trying to say? Done

Is this better? IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Mechanism

half-life meaning that: comma between life and meaning

it effects: "this effects" will be better

Done both. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

References

They look fine.

Causes

An absolute or relative lack of cortisol, causes adrenal crises as there is not enough tissue glucocorticoid activity to preserve homeostasis.[10]: Remove, I think this got accidently repeated here

Done IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

congenital disorders such as: or congential disorders... (also, is everything after this until the period an example?) Done

Changed wording and yes everything after that is congenital. IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

haemochromatosis have been known: .. have also been known... Done

Done IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

in rectal, paraspinal, intradermal, intraarticular, injectable, nasal, inhaled, or topical preparations.: I think some of the easier ones(intradermal, intraarticular) can use their common terms and the technical one in brackets Done

Done IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

insipidus are more likely: are even more likely Done

Done IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

for hydrocortisone.: Mention why that would lead to decrease in cortisol Done

Added since hydrocortisone is being metabolized faster, does that look better? IntentionallyDense (talk) 22:09, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Good enough

Spot-check

Doing a double check on every 8th ref in general (deeper than my usual, due to the reasons brought up in GA1 and GA2)

Ref-1: Acute adrenal insufficiency ... Also Known As Addisonian crisis, ... adrenal crisis ...
Ref-9: predominant clinical features of adrenal crisis include hypotension and hypovolaemia (the whole article really)
Ref-17: Patients with an adrenal crisis often present with gastrointestinal symptoms, Chronic gastrointestinal symptoms are more prevalent in AI patients compared to controls
Ref-25: provision of devices, such as a MedicAlert bracelet or necklace ... when patients cannot communicate verbally.
Ref-33: 200 mg (50–100 mg/m2 for children) of hydrocortisone/24 hours (via continuous iv therapy or 6 hourly injection)
Ref-41: Both absolute (sBP < 100 mm Hg) and relative (>20 mm Hg lower than usual sBP) are considered indicative of an AC but ... unable to assess relative hypotension ... affected the estimation of hypotension in older patients especially, given the elevation in blood pressure with increasing age.
Ref-50: The diagnosis of adrenal insufficiency in pregnancy is relatively rare ... diagnosis can be challenging as many of the symptoms overlap with normal symptoms of pregnancy.
Ref-56: deaths among children in hospital due to an AC were found to be very uncommon

Overall

It's long, might take some time, but having read GA1 and GA2, should pass easily. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 07:58, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Some more sections reviewed. Just phrasing issues, more or less. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 15:50, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Review done, IntentionallyDense. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 16:48, 30 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I'll pass it later in the day after a second read-through. DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 07:54, 31 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Sounds good, thanks! IntentionallyDense (talk) 15:00, 31 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Did the spot check, IntentionallyDense, everything looks great. Well done, a very great article. Congratulations, keep up the good work! DoctorWhoFan91 (talk) 18:09, 31 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you! You as well! IntentionallyDense (talk) 18:15, 31 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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