Talk:Adam Priestley/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cloudz679 (talk · contribs) 09:42, 1 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

I will take this one. C 679 09:42, 1 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Here's my initial report. Seems like quite a lot of work to be done. I am putting this review on hold for one week in order for the following to be addressed:

Lead

"Priestley has spent his entire senior career in the semi-professional lower divisions of the English football league system." pretty wordy
"Qualifying to represent Gibraltar internationally by being born there while his father served in the Royal Air Force,[4] Priestley debuted for the oversees territory in its premier UEFA match in November 2013.[5]" wordy. What is "premier UEFA match"? Are the circumstances of his birth lead-worthy, or better placed in the main body of the article?
"He has since gone on to represent Gibraltar in friendlies and UEFA Euro 2016 qualifying.[6]" friendlies AND qualifying? This seems like a redundant sentence.

Youth and amateur

The quote in the first sentence isn't presented very well, furthermore it is only supported by fn7 and not fn2.
The second sentence is attributed to fn3 and fn7, again fn7 is ok here but fn3 doesn't support it. Also, what is significant here, the fact he was told he would be released, or that he was released?
"Priestley then joined amateur side Sherburn White Rose FC where he played between 2006 and 2010.[8]" fn8 doesn't confirm more than he played for them. What makes pitchero a reliable source?
"The next season, 2009–10, Priestley scored 31 goals (22 league, nine cup) in 31 appearances (25 league, six cup)[11]" The fn purports to be the 2009–10 stats, but actually routes to the 2008–09 season.
"for Sherburn as the club finished second in the league, only behind Bardsley.[12]" - second behind Bardsley in the league
"With Sherburn, Priestley advanced to the final of the 2010 West Yorkshire League Cup against Beeston St Anthony's after Priestley netted a brace in extra time in a 4–1 victory over Pool in the semi-final.[13] Sherburn went on the win the cup with the 1–0 victory on 6 May 2010 with Priestley starting the match.[14]" He didn't advance, the club did. Avoid jargon such as "a brace" and reword. Very wordy. How about clarifying this was the final, for a start. Is Pool another team? If so it should be linked, if not then clarified.

Garforth Town

fn1 is being used to support stats but there are no stats at that reference for the 2010/11 or 2011/12 seasons.
"Following a successful first year with Garforth which included an opening seven goals in three matches, including four in a President's Cup tie at Sheffield,[16] it was announced on 8 June 2011 that Priestley had signed a new contract with the club.[17]" much too wordy. Also consider the focus at the end, is it the announcement or actually signing the extension?
"despite being placed on the long-term injury list in 2012" add the month for clarity. The ref is more about him being injured than being on a list as such, we can see from other refs that he missed two months, so why not add that?
"During the 2011–12 season, Garforth finished in the play-offs which was also Garforth's highest ever finish." prose
"In Garforth's last match of the season, Priestley scored the game-winning goal of a 2–1 victory over Skelmersdale United which secured the team's place in the play-offs." some of this is redundant, "game-winning goal" isn't the appropriate register here, rather "winning goal"
"Garforth eventually lost to Curzon Ashton which ultimately ended the team's chances of promotion.[20]" prose
"possibly putting him inside the club's top-ten all-time scorers." this is not useful, the link is fine to support the first part of the sentence.
"Priestley's time with Garforth has been called one of the club's greatest eras." by whom? We can already read in the paragraph about the club achieving their highest-ever finish, so this sentence is unnecessary.
"In August 2014, Priestley was invited to a legends game involving some of Garforth's most successful former players as part of the club's 50th anniversary celebrations.[21]" doesn't belong in the Garforth section

Farsley

"After the 2011–12 season, Priestley signed for Farsley as part of a player exodus caused by a poor financial situation at Garforth.[18]" the citation doesn't mention an exodus
what is "an eventual 1–1 league draw"?
"In February 2013, Priestley was offered a much more lucrative contract by Worksop Town of the Northern Premier League Premier Division higher up in the National League System. After the player rejected the initial offer, Worksop countered with another offer which was also rejected in favor of staying at Farsley for the remainder of the season.[24]" prose. Also British English "favour" should be used
"His 27 goal tally was enough to earn him the Players' Player of the Year and Manager's Player of the Year awards as well as being the team's top goal scorer.[25]" according to the source, this was three awards and not two as the article reads

Guiseley

"On 1 August 2013, it was announced that Priestley signed for Guiseley of Conference North higher up in the league system ahead of the 2013–14 season." prose
"When manager Steve Kittrick left Guiseley after a poor start to the season, Priestley fell out of favor with new boss Mark Bower which in part prompted the player to leave the club." not sure how accurate this is, prose needs improving, again British English is required
"Although he did not score a league goal for Guiseley, he did score for the club in a pre-season friendly against Brighouse Town F.C. in July 2013,[30] one of four friendlies in which Priestley appeared for the club.[27]" I would expect chronological order, so the friendlies should be mentioned in this case before he signed the contract.

Return to Farsley

"On 8 October 2013, Priestley resumed his scoring for Farsley by scoring in his second appearance back with the club against Goole.[31]" prose
"After finishing the season with 13 goals in 32 appearances, including 9 goals in 26 league appearances,[1] Priestley finished the 2013–14 season by coming in third place in the Supporter's Player of the Year vote.[32]" prose, particularly "after finishing the season… Priestley finished the season"
"On 21 June 2014, it was announced that Priestley had signed a new contract and would return to Farsley for the 2014–15 season." how about "Priestley signed a new contract with Farsley in June 2014"
various terms discussed above are present in this section, e.g. game-winning goal, brace, regular season (I think you mean league season)…
"Although his addition was noted as strengthening the attack and prompted several scoring chances, he was unable to add to Farsley's tally.[36]" in short, he didn't score
"Although his addition was noted as strengthening the attack and prompted several scoring chances, he was unable to add to Farsley's tally.[36]" prose

International career

Birth information, moving to England, should be in the personal life section.
"Priestley made his debut for Gibraltar in a friendly on 3 July 2013 against Scottish Premiership club Hibernian after he was contacted to train with the national squad by head coach Allen Bula before Gibraltar became UEFA members.[40]" prose
"Priestley created the best offensive chance for Gibraltar in the match, making a surging run down the flank and sending in a cross only to have the ball deflected into the hands of Slovakia goalkeeper Tomas Kosicky in the 10th minute.[44]" seems like POV, plus the url gives a 404 error
"In May 2014, Priestley was once again named to the Gibraltar squad for matches against Estonia and Malta in preparation for UEFA Euro 2016 qualifying.[49]" misleading, it should be noted these were friendly matches
"Against Malta, Gibraltar earned their first UEFA victory with the 1–0 result.[51]" - "with a 1–0 win"
"roster" - squad
Instead of repeating that the matches in early 2014 were friendlies, it may read better to mention that the nation didn't play any competitive games until September 2014

Personal life

Move info from elsewhere into this section as detailed above.
Per WP:PRECISELANG, "currently" should be reworded as a potentially dated term.

Referencing

fn44 and fn46 are reporting as broken links.
What makes fn40 (sportsperformer.blogspot.com) a reliable source?
fn50 is in Estonian, which is ok, but per WP:NONENG, "English-language sources are preferred over non-English ones whenever English sources of equal quality and relevance are available", which I assume is the case here.

Images

Generally fine but the image File:Adam Priestley vs. Estonia.jpg states a BY-SA 2.0 license, however the flickr page states BY 2.0 only.

C 679 17:32, 1 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

No action at all from the nominator, despite being active on Wikipedia in the mean time, which is a shame. Closing this review as not listed. C 679 15:46, 8 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.