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[Untitled]

[edit]

It's a definite improvement. Anna Frodesiak (talk) 23:30, 21 May 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Will continue to neutralize the tone. Thanks for the review. Shivam Sharma (talk) 06:28, 22 May 2011 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Shivam.s88 (talk • contribs) [reply]

-- Requests for feedback - Page: Abhay Kumar

Hi Anna,

greetings! It'll be of great help if you could review the article again. Currently the page Abhay Kumar has this banner:
This article's tone or style may not reflect the formal tone used on Wikipedia. Specific concerns may be found on the talk page. See Wikipedia's guide to writing better articles for suggestions.

I've made some changes in order to resolve the issue, I've mentioned them below:

  • Abhay Kumar (Hindi: अभय कुमार; Russian: Абхай Кумар) (also known as Abhay K) is an Indian author, poet, artist and diplomat. His bookRiver Valley to Silicon Valley tries to draw the portrait of a modern young Indian.[1] His award winning work in Gov2.0 & digital diplomacy,[2] his philosophical poetry, planetary scale of thinking in his art works [3] and his writings on Global democracy [4] strive for a second renaissance on the planet.

into

Abhay Kumar (Hindi: अभय कुमार; Russian: Абхай Кумар) (also known as Abhay K) is an Indian author, poet, artist and diplomat. His book River Valley to Silicon Valley tries to draw the portrait of a modern young Indian.[1] His award winning work in Gov2.0 & digital diplomacy,[2] philosophical poetry, planetary scale of thinking in his art works [3] and writings on Global democracy [4] strive for a second renaissance on the planet.

  • Global democracy and the role of mobile internet in transforming the public sphere have been reccuring themes in his writings. His Op-Ed 'Birth of Global democracy' [13] in The Times of India has been quoted in serious journals of international affairs globally[14] This urge for Global democracy and planetary consciousness is reflected in his art works. His statement- Whatever be our individual, social or other interests, we should not forget that we have only one cosmic home, Earth.[15] resonates with ancient Indian wisdom Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam - the whole world is a family.

into

Global democracy and the role of mobile internet in transforming the public sphere have been reccuring themes in his writings. His Op-Ed 'Birth of Global Democracy' [13] in The Times of India has been quoted in serious journals of international affairs.[14] A new urge for Global democracy and planetary consciousness is reflected in his art works. He believes whatever be our individual, social or other interests, we should not forget that we have only one cosmic home, Earth.[15]

  • He led soft launching of Clean India Campaign at Nehru Park with Robinder Sachdev, President Imagindia Institute on 20 February 2011 that followed cleaning up of public places such asRaj Ghat and All India Institute of Medical Sciences premises in Delhi by a large number of volunteers and a nationwide campaign to clean India.[16]

into

He led the soft launch of Clean India Campaign at Nehru Park with Robinder Sachdev, President Imagindia Institute on 20 February 2011 that followed cleaning up of public places such as Raj Ghat and All India Institute of Medical Sciences premises in Delhi by a large number of volunteers and a nationwide campaign to clean India.[16]


  • He is a noteworthy poet of the contemporary Indian English Literature for giving humanistic outlook and supranational character to Indian English Poetry.[18]

into

He is a noteworthy figure in contemporary Indian English Literature for giving humanistic outlook and supranational character to Indian English Poetry.[18]

Removed

He actively took part in activities of National Service Scheme (NSS) at Kirori Mal College and at Jawaharlal Nehru University(JNU). He was Vice President of NSS, Kirori Mal College from 1999–2000 and a core member of the gender issues forum 'Parivartan' from 1998-2000 at Delhi University. NSS unit of Kirori Mal College organized annual blood donation camp at the college, tree plantation, anti-smoking and anti-pollution drives and visits to mental asylums in and around Delhi.

I hope this makes the article more formal. Looking forward to your feedback. Many thanks. Shivam Sharma 12:15, 8 June 2011 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Shivam.s88 (talk • contribs)

Reverting my cleanup of Abhay Kumar

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  • If you are trying to clean up this page, you are not doing a very good job of it by reverting other editors efforts at cleaning up. I would like to know in what way my removal of He travelled to Nepal, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka during his Indian Foreign Service. He has also written a paper proposing a SAARC University at Nalanda. is "illegitimate". All probationers travel to the SAARC countries as part of their training so in what way is this significant? Similarly, the alleged fact that he has written a paper proposing a SAARC university at Nalanda would be notable only if such a university has come up,not otherwise. And, as I wrote in my edit summary, this piece of information has so far only been attributed to the subject and is not independently confirmed. Sesamevoila (talk) 19:42, 21 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Well my job is not very good, that is only your opinion. Why do you think the passage that you removed is not significant??. The source is reliable and third party, (By Ronisha Bhattacharyya (ANI)), is it not independent, then what is your description in this regard. I hope this helps.Justice007 (talk) 20:20, 21 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I was only trying to remind you that wiikipedia editing is a collaborative exercise and you cannot go around describing other edits as illegitimate. I have already explained why I think the passage I removed is not significant.You have not responded to the points I raised but are harping on the source. Sources are not an end in themselves and content should be added based on reliability and context. The article quoted is evidently based on an interview with the subject and there is nothing to suggest that the reporter has independently verified the claims made by the subject. Moreover, a startling claim like the one made in the passage should be quoted in more than one mainstream publication, going by Exceptional claims require exceptional sources. While you are at it, you could also take a look at Reliability in the context. I hope this helps. Sesamevoila (talk) 05:38, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I just went back to the page and I appreciate your efforts at cleaning up but I still feel the above passage is irrelevant, and not sufficiently sourced.Sesamevoila (talk) 07:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I have properly responded your raising points, I cannot understand your descriptions of the issue that you are taking serious unnecessarly. Though mentioned wiki rules by you are supporting the descriptions that I draw. To travel as a diplomate different states is not a big claim nor important issue, there is reliable source by third party, no matter as an interview or something else. It is written and published by Ronisha Bhattacharyya (ANI), and writer is telling the subject has been travelled etc, but not the subject. At the other hand if you do not consider it a third party source, then anyhow it is well primary source, that's why I have placed the BLP tag for additional sources for verification, that act exact meets the wiki policies and guidelines. I am moving that discussion on the talk page of Abhay Kumar, and that should be discussed there, not on my talk page.Justice007 (talk) 08:31, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Without going to the discussion above, I think the following sentence does not add much value to the article because there is already a SAARC University in Delhi and an International University is coming up in Nalanda. So the following line is not of much value and therefor may be removed along with the BLP tag. "He visited Nepal, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka at the time of his training in the Indian Foreign Service. He also wrote a paper proposing a SAARC University at Nalanda.[8]" (Kalhause)

Further clean up

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The poem "Earth Anthem" is under copyright. The work would need to be given a free licence for common use to use the whole of it. I formatted the awards and removed a bit of puffy language. 'see alsos' should only link things not mentioned in the article, like external links. I removed links that are already given as cites. Span (talk) 19:14, 23 February 2014 (UTC)[reply]

[edit]

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Is "Research Work on Poetry of Abhay K." relevant?

[edit]

This section discusses two academic works on the subject, but it does not explain why they might be notable or what they add to the article's coverage of the subject. Arcticwoolybearmoth (talk) 18:07, 23 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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