Talk:45th New York Infantry Regiment

Quick review and some suggestions

• Good work on this article. I have made a few very minor tweaks; please check that you are happy with those changes and adjust as you see fit. I have assessed the article as C class, although I feel that it is actually very close to B class. I have the following suggestions for further improvement:
  • if possible, the lead should be expanded to summarise the article fully (it can be up to four paragraphs if necessary);
  • for B class, the article will need more inline citations. Within the Military History project, the rule of thumb is that at a minimum, each paragraph should end in an inline citation;
  • In the first paragraph of the Service section, I suggest adding the following details:
    • the number of companies that the regiment consisted of;
    • the information about it being recruited mainly from German immigrants and that it was alternatively known as the 5th German Rifles;
    • its first commanding officer.
  • Please consider if all the section headers necessary. In some cases the sections are quite small and the headers draw the eye away from the text. My suggestion is to try to consolidate them if you can and to reduce them overall;
  • You might gain some ideas for further improvements from 68th New York Volunteer Infantry Regiment, which is currently rates as a Featured Article (the highest rating within the project);
  • once you feel that the article is ready for re-assessment, please feel free to list it at WP:MHA again. You might also consider asking for a wider peer review by listing it at WP:PR;
• Anyway, keep up the good work. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 10:19, 4 July 2012 (UTC)

Re: Review and Suggestions

What a really excellent and helpful review. Thanks so much for the time you spent. I probably won't be able to spend the time to to justice to all this input very soon, but here are some quick responses:

• Tweaks look good to me. Thanks for the catches.
• When you suggest to put the information about the regiment being recruited from German immigrants and known as the 5th German Rifles in the Service section, am I correct in understanding that you mean restate or expand on it, as opposed to moving it out of the Lead?
  • G'day, yes I'm suggesting that it should be restated. AustralianRupert (talk) 08:07, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
    • Along the same line, when I am thinking of the above, and the suggestion to expand the lead, I worry a bit about redundancy, though I have not yet had time to digest the suggestion much. Hmmm.... will put some more thought and reading into that.
      • The lead should be able to stand alone from the article, as it is essentially a very brief summary of the entire article. It is a fine balance, though, and you are right to worry about redundancy. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 08:07, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
• Regarding the Section headers, I agree. These came about as a means for me to make sense of the topic as I went, since I have no particular background in military or (American) civil war history. I found the different armies and subunits, as well as the timeline of events to be rather a jumble. (Notice the regiment was still part of the Army of the Potomac - named for a river on the east coast - when it served in the Chattanooga area, in the Western Theater.) In its current form the organization is a bit ... busy, I guess. Some of these sections could use expansion, too. But basically I agree a rethink is in order.

Thanks again for the review. I will take another look when I get some more time, and submit for another review when I think it's improved sufficiently.

Awun (talk) 22:15, 4 July 2012 (UTC)