Talk:2021 Illinois vs. Penn State football game/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 20:53, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
Hello! I'll be taking a look at this article for the January 2022 GAN backlog drive. If you haven't already signed up, please feel free to join in! Although QPQ is not required, if you're feeling generous, I also have a list of GA nominations of my own right here.
Good Article review progress box
|
Infobox and lede
[edit]- That the game
took place during week eight of the 2021 FBS football season
is not mentioned in the bodyDone – added to first sentence of "teams" section
- Link "Happy Valley" to Happy Valley (Pennsylvania) – despite living less than an hour outside of PSU, I saw the name and my mind first went to California
Done
- "with each team missing" → "as both teams missed"
Done
- Link touchdown and field goal upon their first mentions in the third paragraph
Done
Teams
[edit]- "Illinois'" → "Illinois's" per MOS:'S (continues throughout article)
Done
- Should add final scores for the games listed in both the Illinois and Penn State sections
Done
Illinois
[edit]- See above, broadly
Penn State
[edit]- See above, broadly
- Delink Wisconsin, already linked in the Illinois section
Done
Game summary
[edit]Pre-game
[edit]- "relatively easily" → "with relative ease"
Done
- "Illinois'" → "Illinois's" per MOS:'S
Done
First half
[edit]- Link a number of football terms: touchback, interception, Punt (gridiron football), touchdown, Turnover (gridiron football), fumble, quarterback sack
Done
- First sentence in the second paragraph does not specify that this was the start of the second quarter – read from the first paragraph, it would make sense, but not necessarily to a reader only looking at that para
Done
Second half
[edit]- "got the ball back" → "received possession"
Done
Overtimes
[edit]Due to NCAA rules instituted prior to the 2021 season, the teams began alternating two-point conversion attempts, rather than drives from the 25-yard-line, starting in the third overtime (instead of the fifth overtime).
Some clarity improvement required: I believe this is saying that, prior to the 2021 season, the conversions would begin after five overtimes, but now they start after only three. That took a few tries to parse outDone – you're correct, and I reworded this to try to better reflect that
Scoring summary
[edit]- Good
Statistics
[edit]Team statistics
[edit]- Good
Individual statistics
[edit]- Good
Aftermath
[edit]the sixth to reach at least seven overtimes
Phrasing is vague; sixth in American football generally, specifically NCAA, or specifically Big Ten? Future sentences suggest the middle, but this should be clarified right awayDone – you are correct that I was referring to the NCAA, and I have clarified that.
- A little more elaboration requested on why this criticism resulted; I assume that the new overtime format is what led to the length of the game, hence the critique
Done – I tried my best to expand on this
- "absurd" does not read as neutral
- "Illinois'" → "Illinois's" per MOS:'S
Done
he was previously the head coach at Wisconsin and Arkansas before arriving at Illinois
Redundant; can either take out "previously" or "before arriving at Illinois"Done – removed the last part of the sentence.
References
[edit]- "Underdog Dynasty", "The Champaign Room" and "Black Shoe Diaries" are run by SBNation, which is generally considered not the best source and should be replaced with either mainstream publications or the university's post-game recaps when possible
Done – removed the first as it was the second of two citations for a single game, and the other two have been replaced.
- The work in [9] (Fezler) should just be Sports Illustrated
Done
- The work in [16] (Gallen) should just be The Patriot-News
Done
- The work in [30] (Camenker) should be The Sporting News
Done
- [2] is "CBSSports.com" but [38] is "CBS Sports"; I prefer the latter
Done
General comments
[edit]- Image used is properly licensed and relevant
- No stability concerns in the revision history
- Copyvio score looks good
Putting the article on hold to allow nominator to address comments. Please feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished! — GhostRiver 16:18, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
- GhostRiver, I have done my best to address your comments. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 22:33, 9 January 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you for making those changes, particularly with regards to the references; I know SBNation always comes up for me when I try to work on GANs and it's a pain to find other ones. Everything looks good on my end, passing now! — GhostRiver 22:38, 10 January 2022 (UTC)