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Talk:2018 Hawaii floods/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 03:20, 26 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

  • "An upper-level low moved across the area on April 13, generating a mesoscale convective system that moved over eastern Oahu, producing localized heavy rainfall that reached 5.55 in (141 mm)." - Change one of the instances of "moved" in this sentence to remove repetition. Also, you mention the MCS and subsequent thunderstorms in the next section, but the lead makes it sound like all the rainfall came from a prolonged MCS. Make sure to mention the series of thunderstorms here too.
  • "There, a rain gauge owned by the Waipā Foundation, just west of Hanalei, recorded 49.69 in (1,262 mm) of rainfall in the 24 hours between 12:45 p.m. on April 14 and 15." - Time zone? Backtrack: I see the note in the next section, so maybe move that to the lead.
  • "This was the greatest 24-hour rainfall total on record in the United States, surpassing the previous record of 43 in (1,100 mm) in Alvin, Texas on July 25–26, 1979." - You don't love Claudette enough to link it here? :(
  • "The heavy rainfall produced flash flooding and landslides, which covered roads and washed away several vacant houses." - Nyet comma.
  • "Despite the damage, there were no deaths or injuries.[1][3] The floods also washed away crops, beehives, and livestock.[4]" - Switch the order of these sentences.
  • "Rising waters washed out four vacant homes, and entered dozens of other homes." - Nyet comma.
  • "Residents in Wainiha and Haena were urged to limit their water use, due to contaminated water supply." - Nyet comma.
  • "Kauai Mayor Bernard Carvalho Jr. declared a state of emergency for portions of Kauai, and extended four more times, effective through January 4, 2019, which effectively restricted tourist operations in the Hanalei region.[20][16][21]" - Can we reword this sentence for better clarity?
  • "The Hawaii Department of Transportation ran convoys throughout the day along the damaged portions of Kuhio Highway, while the roadway was being repaired." - Nyet comma.
  • "The Hanalei Colony Resort evacuated its guests on April 16 remained closed through October, only temporarily housing National Guardsmen and families displaced by the floods." - Let's sneak a "that" after "Resort."
  • "At least two dozen students finished and the subsequent school year in the resort, which served as temporary classrooms." - huh?
  • Do we need reference 9 since it's just an introductory link to a database?

All nitpicks from me as usual for you. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contributions) 03:20, 26 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review user:TropicalAnalystwx13! I hope I satisfactorily addressed your concerns. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:45, 26 February 2019 (UTC)[reply]