Talk:2018 Ad Diriyah ePrix/GA1
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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 19:00, 8 June 2019 (UTC)
I'll take a look at this one, will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 19:00, 8 June 2019 (UTC)
Initial review
Lead
[edit]- Place a comma after Riyadh in the opening sentence.
Driver changes
[edit]- "Felipe Massa made his series début with Venturi, and he was partnered two-time Macau Grand Prix winner" > "partnered with" or "he partnered".
- Have opted for the latter choice. MWright96 (talk) 06:38, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
Preparations for the race
[edit]- "public ceremony at the Diriyah Governorate on 25 September", could do with the year being included here as the last months mentioned before that are October and December.
- "overseen by Samer Issa-El-Khour", without a link this name really means nothing. Has he got a job title to include or is he particularly notable in his field?
- Added Issa-El-Khour's job title. MWright96 (talk) 06:38, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
- "along with few 90-degree hand corners that is typical of Formula E street circuits", this sentence is a little confusing. Should hand be in there? Should is be replaced with are?
- Corrected. MWright96 (talk) 06:38, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
Concerns about human rights
[edit]- "were granted dispensation to report on and be spectating the race", should that be "and spectate the race"?
- Yes, have changed the prose to reflect this. MWright96 (talk) 06:38, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
Shakedown
[edit]- I think I'd drop the "however" from the start of the second paragraph and simply start with "Concerns were raised..." as it doesn't seem to be linked to the end of the previous paragraph.
- Removed. MWright96 (talk) 07:12, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
Free practice
[edit]- "A 35-minute practice period was held and it was followed shortly after by a two-group qualifying session", could probably drop the it from this sentence.
- Have opted to reword the sentence to make it less wordy. MWright96 (talk) 07:12, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
Qualifying
[edit]- "amended schedule confusing his team.[44][41]", keep references in numerical order.
- "qualifying was stopped with four minutes left in the second group after he stopped", slight repition of stopped here. Can we switch one of these out?
Race
[edit]- "he looked in the incorrect position", I'm not sure I understand what this means.
- Corrected to say that he looked away from pole position. MWright96 (talk) 07:13, 9 June 2019 (UTC)MWright96 (talk) 07:12, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
- "That prompted to Massa to pass both Paffett and Abt", is the first to meant to be there?
- No, have removed it. MWright96 (talk) 07:12, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
Copyvio tool comes back a little high but there's a few quotes that take up most of it and a reference spot check seems fine. A few minor issues to deal with. Placed on hold until they are addressed. Kosack (talk) 20:47, 8 June 2019 (UTC)
- @Kosack: Thank you again for racing an article I have expanded. Have made all of the necessary changes and some supplementary edits to the article to make its less wordy. MWright96 (talk) 07:39, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
- No worries, nice work. Happy that this meets the relevant GA criteria. Promoting. Kosack (talk) 13:07, 9 June 2019 (UTC)