Talk:2010 24 Hours of Le Mans/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 04:27, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
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Your style runs on the dense side, but covering 56 cars in multiple classifications going around a track for 24 hours will do that. A lot of comma fixing and little things, but the sourcing came back clean. Let me know when you've cleaned this up. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 04:57, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
- I have made changes to the article based on the comments below and have added in alt text for all the images EnthusiastWorld37 (talk) 19:00, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
Copy changes
[edit]Lead
[edit]- It was the 78th 24 Hours of Le Mans as organised by the automotive group, the Automobile Club de l'Ouest (ACO). Reword because the name of the ACO should not belong in an appositive. Try It was the 78th 24 Hours of Le Mans as organised by the Automobile Club de l'Ouest (ACO).
- Peugeot's third trio of Nicolas Minassian, Franck Montagny and Stéphane Sarrazin led the following 144 laps before the engine failed due to connecting rod failure, handing the lead to an Audi R15 TDI plus driven by Audi Sport North America's Timo Bernhard, Romain Dumas and Mike Rockenfeller that they held to the finish. What a sentence. Split it up to aid reading.
- The Audi Sport Team Joest trio of Marcel Fässler, André Lotterer and Benoît Tréluyer finished one lap behind in second and their teammates Rinaldo Capello, Tom Kristensen and Allan McNish completed an Audi sweep of the overall podium another two laps behind in third. A comma is needed after "behind in second" because these are separate sentences linked by "and". User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences (CinS)
- The lead tends to read a bit densely because of the many links and long team listings, but this seems unavoidable and most of the articles mentioned do exist.
Background
[edit]- Le Mans, France Comma needed after "France", per MOS:GEOCOMMA
- automotive journalist Charles Faroux, the Automobile Club de l'Ouest (ACO) general secretary Georges Durand and the industrialist The two "the"s here are not needed
- or the Asian Le Mans Series (ASLMS) Remove "the" for consistency in this list
- In the event of an accident, there would now be three safety cars deployed rather than two as observed in LMS rounds and illuminated number panels were mandated for night conditions Add a comma after "rounds" (CinS)
Entries
[edit]- the ACO thought of increasing the pit lane capacity to 56 cars with the intention of enabling teams to enter "a specific and innovative project" in future years, and thus took steps to ensure the additional pit was operational on 4 June The comma is not needed here (CinS) because the subject on both sides is "the ACO".
- That same month, PK Carsport withdrew its Chevrolet Corvette C6.R due to the car catching fire at the FIA GT1 World Championship meeting at Silverstone Circuit stopping the team from having adequate preparation and resources for Le Mans. Give the reader a break to catch their breath by adding a comma after "Circuit"
Practice
[edit]- Marc Gené was the slowest Peugeot factory driver in fourth in the No. 1 car and the fastest Audi was Allan McNish's No. 7 Audi R15 TDI plus in fifth Comma after "No. 1 car" (CinS)
Qualifying
[edit]- late 9 June night maybe "on the night of 9 June"?
- 3 minutes, 21.192 seconds lap adjective: 3-minute, 21.192-second lap. This issue recurs in this formulation.
- Bourdais' should be Bourdais's per MOS:'S
- a 3 minutes, 20.212 seconds no need for the "a"
Warm-up
[edit]- In second place, was Gené's No. 1 Peugeot, and his teammate Montagny's No. 3 entry in third. The first comma is not needed. Add "was" after "entry"
- The quickest LMP2 time was a 4 minutes, 8.262 seconds set by Marco Werner in Highcroft's entry over Erdos' second-placed RML car. Leinders' Marc VDS Ford GT was fastest in LMGT1 while Jean Alesi 's No. 95 AF Corse SRL Ferrari led in LMGT2. Remove the "a" before "4"; add a comma after LMGT1; remove a stray space after Alesi
- Tim Greaves damaged the No. 41 Team Bruichladdich Ginetta-Zytek vehicle's front-left and the No. 73 LAA Corvette had a left-rear puncture. Add a comma after "front-left" (CinS)
Race
[edit]- When racing resumed, Rockenfeller's No. 9 Audi ran wide leaving the Porsche Curves and his teammate Tréluyer's sister No. 8 entry overtook him for third into the Ford Chicane. Comma after Curves (CinS)
- The No. 1 Peugeot maintained first until Gené relinquished the lead the car had held for 59 consecutive laps, when the car was pushed into the garage with alternator failure, necessitating a new alternator and electronic control unit. Consider rewording; The No. 1 Peugeot maintained first until Gené relinquished the lead the car had held for 59 consecutive laps; the car was pushed into the garage with alternator failure, necessitating a new alternator and electronic control unit.
- The stop lost the No. 1 Peugeot twelve minutes and it fell four laps down in seventh. Add a comma after minutes (CinS)
- Due to a puncture on his No. 42 Highcroft car that sent him into the gravel, Marino Franchitti lost two and a half laps to Watts' No. 26 Strakka car but he remained second in LMP2. Remove "he" to avoid a CinS
- Erdos moved RML's No. 25 entry to third in LMP2 in the early morning when the No. 35 OAK Pescarolo was driven into the garage and Olivier Pla's No. 40 Quifel-entered car went off the circuit at Arnage corner but recovered with marshal assistance. Reword: Erdos moved RML's No. 25 entry to third in LMP2 in the early morning; the No. 35 OAK Pescarolo was driven into the garage, and Olivier Pla's No. 40 Quifel-entered car went off the circuit at Arnage corner but recovered with marshal assistance.
- "Tetre Rouge" should be "Tertre"
- The Peugeot was abandoned on the Mulsanne Straight because Montagny could not return to the pit lane, and ceded the overall lead the car had held for 144 successive laps to Bernhard's No. 9 Audi change "and ceded" to "ceding" to avoid a CinS
- Lieb's No. 77 Felbermayr-Proton Porsche moved to second and Vilander's No. 95 AF Corse Ferrari was now third in class. Comma after second (CinS)
- Collard spun backwards into the barrier, severely damaging the Corvette's rear but he was unhurt. Complete the appositive by adding a comma after "rear"
- Bernhard, Dumas and Rockenfeller maintained the lead the No. 9 Audi had held for the final 133 laps, and achieved their first Le Mans victories and Audi's ninth since its first in 2000 in a record-breaking 397 laps Remove comma (CinS)
- Larbre Compétition held their four-lap lead in LMGT1 and Berville's, Julien Canal's and Gardel's No. 50 Saleen achieved the team's fifth class victory. Comma after LMGT1 (CinS)
- Team Farnbacher finished two laps behind the Porsche in second and BMS Scuderia Italia were another nine laps behind in third Comma after "second" (CinS)
Post-race
[edit]- , saying: after "saying", use a comma, not a colon
- Wikilink Privateer (motorsport)
Spot checks
[edit]- 10: Autoweek article:
The 55 accepted cars that will participate in the qualifying sessions June 9-10 will include 21 LMP1 cars, nine LMP2 cars, eight GT1 entries and 17 GT2 machines.
- 22:
In addition though our friends at Endurance-Info.com have established that the second LMP car on the list, the Tokai University Courage-YGK, has also been withdrawn, the University based team choosing to concentrate on 2011 and a hybrid powertrain instead!
- 31: DSC Wednesday qualifying report: "dry" conditions.
- 40: French-language report from endurance-info.
devant la n°3 de Simon Pagenaud en 3.23.593 mn
- 46:
The Highcroft Racing HPD ARX.01 team had to settle for second. "I'm very happy, because we made a lot of progress since yesterday," David Brabham concluded. "At the end I had a go on another qualifying lap, but there was too much traffic and then I out braked myself at the first chicane."
- 55:
Idem pour la Corvette C6.R Team Luc Alphand Aventures qui elle a crevé à l'arrière gauche.
- 60:
Even before the start, the #80 Flying Lizard Porsche 911 encountered trouble when a screw on the track caused a rear tire puncture.
- 82:
The eight-time winner ran into the gravel at the Porsche Curves as he tried to go around the outside of Priaulx's slow-moving BMW M3, which was recovering to the pits with a front-let puncture.
- 88:
First, Manuel Rodrigues in the #14 Kolles Audi R10 hits the barrier hard with the left front at the right kink before Indianapolis - he brings it to the pits but there is quite a lot of damage.
- 94:
The battle for the lead in LMP2 was also affected by a trip through the gravel for second-placed Marino Franchitti at the top of the hour. It wasn't his fault though, having suffered the car's third puncture of the race. The problem cost Highcroft two and a half laps, handing some breathing space to long-time leader Danny Watts in the Strakka Acura.
- 118:
Audi claimed a shock 1-2-3 victory in this year's Le Mans 24 Hours after Peugeot suffered a catastrophic collapse from the stronghold it enjoyed early in the race. ... Romain Dumas, Timo Bernhard and Mike Rockenfeller clinched their maiden Le Mans victories in their first year together
- 120:
The Saleen wins in the last Le Mans 24 Hours for the class - ironically, the first win here for the S7R. That win is Larbre Competition's fifth class win at Le Mans.
- 128: Quote is accurately reproduced.
Earwig catches primarily an article from DSC—but it's a table of the event results. That's not a copyvio issue: that's just too many of the same names in the same places. Most other items caught are attributed quotes.
Images
[edit]The article contains seven Creative Commons-licensed images with no issues and useful captions. Encouragement: Add alt text.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.