Talk:1957 NCAA University Division basketball championship game/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 04:23, 30 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Since this is one of the five oldest noms, I'll give reviewing this a shot; it should be up in a couple days. Wizardman 04:23, 30 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

"The game was the final game" feels a bit redundant having game twice back to back like that.

Changed "game" to match-up. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 20:29, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"he made the free throw and the Tar Heels went on to win 61–59." Not sure if went on to win is the best language here, since you note the 59-58 score and describe the final three points after; I'd rewrd.

Reworded to "won" plus stated that the shot was a two-pointer. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:02, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Kansas' following game was against Iowa State, this" should either be a semicolon or period rather than a comma

Changed to a semicolon. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:02, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Cowboys held the ball for the final three and a half minutes in order to win the game 56–54" was this due to the shot clock not being implemented at college yet? Make that a bit clearer, since to a lay reader that may be confusing. (according to the shot clock article this is in fact the case, which I did not know prior to reviewing this)

added that there was no shot-clock in 1957 with a reference. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:02, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

" the game was broadcast on five stations due to Castleman D. Chesley" could it be noted that Chesley was a TV producer in the area? It would make the rest of the paragraph easier to understand. (perhaps he should have an article, but that's something to think about outside of the GAN)

Reworded the sentence. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:14, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Tommy Kearns who was almost not even six feet tall." the almost and not even together end up contradicting each other; just keep one.

changed to "not-even six feet tall." He was 5 foot 11 inches. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:14, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"North Carolina coach Frank McGuire " he's noted as the coach and by the full name a couple times earlier in the article, so a bit redundant here.

Deleted "North Carolina" and capitalized "Coach." PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:14, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"began to strain the Kansas' defense" either rm the or rm the apostrophe

Deleted "the". PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:14, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Kansas stepped up their defense at the behest of coach Harp and forced held Carolina scoreless for two minutes." rm forced

Done. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:14, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

" Out of timeout, " timeouts

Done. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:39, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"campus for over 40 after leaving" add years after 40.

Done. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:39, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

There's a few parts in the game summary that venture into run-on territory. Nothing blatant, but double-checking that certainly couldn't hurt.

Added commas and fixed a few idioms. Had to re-write a couple sentences, but it seems good now. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 21:39, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Not too much to fix. I'll put this on hold for a week and will pass it when the issues are fixed. I see that the writer is inactive, so hopefully someone can step in within a week's time and make the fixes, since they are relatively minor. Wizardman 03:29, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll help out. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 20:26, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Everything looks good now, thanks for stepping in; this article now passes GA status. Wizardman 23:09, 1 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for reviewing this article. PointsofNoReturn (talk) 18:46, 2 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]