Talk:1886 St. Croix River log jam/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 16:58, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
Hello! I'll be taking a look at this article for the January 2022 GAN backlog drive. If you haven't already signed up, please feel free to join in! Although QPQ is not required, if you're feeling generous, I also have a list of GA nominations of my own right here.
- Thank you @GhostRiver for starting the review! I'd be happy to help with your articles, but I think you'd fare better with a reviewer with more knowledge of North American sports (I have watched the grand total on one baseball game, Twins versus Red Sox, but that was a long time ago). —Kusma (talk) 09:56, 27 January 2022 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
|
Lede
[edit]- Add a sentence about the clearing of the jam
- Done.
Background
[edit]- I don't love phrases in parentheses, and I don't think the informal name needs to be included if it's not relevant to the article itself
- Removed.
- Link logging
- Done, also added a link to log driving
This was a winter activity, as the trees were so large that the only way to move them through the forests was by horse-drawn sleds.
Slightly unclear connection; I suppose the sleds necessitate that this be done in winter, but it's not immediately clear- Checked the source and mentioned ice, which hopefully makes it clearer.
- "or its tributaries" → "and its tributaries"
- Yup, done.
Causes and start of the 1886 log jam
[edit]- Specify somewhere in the first sentence that the river splits present-day Minnesota and Wisconsin, as just saying Interstate State Park does not make that explicit to people not familiar with the region
- Added.
- Don't love the use of the phrase "blown up", feels a little informal
- Changed one of them; the other one is close to a quote.
could deal with
andpile up
, don't end sentences with prepositions- Used other words
Clearing the log jam
[edit]It was feared
by whom?- Rephrased.
Using ropes, land-based steam engines and horses tried to pull out logs from the jam.
Awkward sentence construction; while it shows now that the engines and horses were the ones using the ropes, a first read suggests that some unnamed force was using ropes, engines, and horses- Rephrased, and added a mention of how much rope must have been breaking
Tourist attraction
[edit]- Replace the parentheses with a colon introducing the specific example
- Done.
so were highly welcome events there
awkward phrase construction- Tried to improve
The end of log jams
[edit]- Section appears a little threadbare. Current sentence reads as a theoretical; was the Nevers Dam successful? Were there more major log jams after the one in 1886?
- Expanded a tiny bit. It seems the 1886 log jam was the last one.
References
[edit]- Good
General comments
[edit]- Images are properly licensed and relevant
- No stability concerns in the revision history
- The pull quote has long since gone into the public domain
- I'm conflicted on whether you should use the conversion template on many of these values, and whether the benefit of adding conversions to metric units would be worth the impeded reading flow when such large numbers are involved
- I'm not convinced it would help to convert the board feet to cubic meters. (I am metric born and bred, but I can imagine a foot-wide inch-thick and a couple foot long board, while I don't quite know how to imagine many of those piled up to a cubic meter). I have converted a newly-added 11 miles to kilometres.
Thank you for your patience as I deal with my migraine headaches. Putting on hold for now. Feel free to reach out with questions, and please let me know when you're finished. — GhostRiver 16:50, 28 January 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you for the helpful feedback, all good points! I'll get to these either tonight or over the weekend. Sorry to hear about your migraines -- get some rest. Even when I'm done with the edits, no need to reply quickly if you're not feeling well. —Kusma (talk) 17:32, 28 January 2022 (UTC)
- @GhostRiver, would you like to take another look? (As I said, no need to hurry). —Kusma (talk) 00:08, 29 January 2022 (UTC)
- All of my comments have been sufficiently addressed, passing now. — GhostRiver 16:52, 29 January 2022 (UTC)