Talk:11th Battalion (Australia)/GA1
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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk · contribs) 10:36, 10 September 2013 (UTC)
Progression
[edit]- Version of the article when originally reviewed: [1]
- Version of the article when review was closed: [2]
Technical review
[edit]- Citations: The Citation Check tool reveals no errors with reference consolidation (no action req'd).
- Disambiguations: one dab link [3]:
- Linkrot: a couple of dead links [4]:
- The Forgotten First: The 1st Australian Division in the Great War and its Legacy (info) [army.gov.au]
- Gerald Patrick McKenna (info) [ancestry.com]
- Removed, probably not a WP:RS. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
- AWM4-23/28/4: 11th Infantry Battalion War Diary: July 1915 (info) [awm.gov.au]
- Alt text: Images all have alt text [5] (no action req'd).
- Copyright violations: The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copyright violations or close paraphrasing [6] (no action req'd).
- Duplicate links: no duplicate links (no action req'd).
Criteria
[edit]- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose):
b (MoS):
- "The 11th Battalion was formed on 17 August 1914, less than two weeks after the declaration of war on 4 August 1914..." suggest removing second instance of 1914 as already clear which year from the text.
- Typo here: "Along with the 9th, 10th and 12th Battalions, it formed Colonel Ewen Sinclair-Maclagan's 3rd Brigade, which assigned to the 1st Division...", consider instead: "Along with the 9th, 10th and 12th Battalions, it formed Colonel Ewen Sinclair-Maclagan's 3rd Brigade, which was assigned to the 1st Division..."
- This is a little repetitive: " The first battalion raised in Western Australia, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel James Lyon-Johnston, the battalion concentrated at Blackboy Hill, Western Australia..." (battalion twice in same sentence. Consider instead: " The first battalion raised in Western Australia, under the command of Lieutenant Colonel James Lyon-Johnston, it concentrated at Blackboy Hill, Western Australia."
- Repetitive wording here: "However, the battalion became disorganised during the landing and became mixed with other units..." (became twice). Perhaps reword?
- "On 31 July, a party of around 200 men led by Captain Raymond Leane...", should just be "On 31 July, a party of around 200 men led by Leane..." rm rank fol formal introduction at first use per WP:SURNAME.
- "73 other members of the battalion were wounded during the attack...", fairly sure "73" needs to be spelt out here as a number starting a sentence per WP:MOSNUM, i.e. "seventy-three".
- I think this could be worded better: "The withdrawal had been planned for the 14th, but due to bad weather this was delayed until on the night of the 16/17 November 1915." Consider instead: "The withdrawal had been planned for the 14th, but due to bad weather this was delayed until the night of the 16/17 November 1915."
- Missing word here: "It arrived 5 April at Marseilles, France...", probably better as "It arrived on 5 April at Marseilles, France..."
- Missing word here: "The Germans then put in another attack, which was once again turned back, before the 11th launched a limited counterattack regained the ground that had been lost..." consider: "The Germans then put in another attack, which was once again turned back, before the 11th launched a limited counterattack, regaining the ground that had been lost."
- should be singular here, not plural: " one CBs"
- Typo here: "The 11 Battalion's final commanding officer...", should be "The 11th Battalion's final commanding officer..."
- Typo here: "...an original member of the battalion who had appointed a company sergeant major...", perhaps: "...an original member of the battalion who had been appointed a company sergeant major..."
- Repetitive: "As a result of the economic pressures of the Great Depression, the number of volunteers fell and as a result..." (as a result twice).
- Repetitive: "A separate 11th Battalion, Royal Western Australia Regiment was reformed separately..." (separate and separately).
- I think I fixed all of these. AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
- a (prose):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references):
b (citations to reliable sources):
c (OR):
- All major points cited using WP:RS.
- No issues with OR.
- a (references):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects):
b (focused):
- Most major points seem to be covered without going into undue detail.
- Level of coverage seems appropriate.
- a (major aspects):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- a (fair representation):
b (all significant views):
- No issues here.
- a (fair representation):
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- No issues here.
- No edit wars etc.:
- It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
- a (tagged and captioned):
b (Is illustrated with appropriate images):
c (non-free images have fair use rationales):
d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:
- Images are all PD and / or licensed and seem appropriate to the article.
- a (tagged and captioned):
- Overall:
- a Pass/Fail:
- Looks quite good to me, just some prose and MOS issues above to deal with / discuss. Anotherclown (talk) 11:17, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. I think I've covered off on everything now. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
- Changes look fine. Passing now. Anotherclown (talk) 10:00, 12 September 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. I think I've covered off on everything now. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 12:15, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
- a Pass/Fail: