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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Bath School disaster

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This article was prepared in conjunction with Wikipedia:WikiProject Michigan and has had a peer review. This is the first request for featured article status. Main page placement is being sought for the May 18, 2006 anniversary date. Comments welcome. Jtmichcock 14:33, 27 February 2006 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support comprehensive article, complete history of the event Gnangarra 14:58, 27 February 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comment. This sentence could use some fixing: "Disgruntled Bath Consolidated school board member Andrew Kehoe, upset by a property tax levy to fund the school building he blamed for putting his farm into foreclosure, first killed his wife and set his farm buildings on fire." First of all, it's too long. Secondly, the structure of the sentence implies that the school building itself (rather than the tax levy) was the cause of the foreclosure. I think it should be broken into 3 sentences: Who he was, why he was mad, and what he did. Nice article, though. I will support if the wording is fixed up a bit. Kafziel 15:52, 27 February 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I restructured the lede per your suggestion. I am also looking at other sections to see if some of the sentences can be broken up. Jtmichcock 16:41, 27 February 2006 (UTC)[reply]