Talk:Effects of a Vegan Diet on Type 2 Diabetes

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Peer Review

I like your lead paragraph: it gives an informative but concise picture of the topic, and I like that it goes from broad to more specific as it progresses (i.e. first it explains what a vegan diet is, then why diet matters to type 2 diabetes treatment, then on treatment of type 2 diabetes specifically with a vegan diet, etc.) — I think it’s a good way to introduce the reader to the subject. The only thing I would change is to maybe elaborate on what you mean by “a less tedious manner”, as I thought that was a bit unclear. Also, you mention cost effectiveness in the lead but I don’t think you addressed that in the body of the article, so maybe you could write a paragraph or so on that. Your image is great, the article's tone is neutral, and I think the organization is logical -- well done!

Emilyc44 (talk) 17:54, 22 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

== Jacqueline, You have done a good job with this draft and I am pleased to see you got your info box working! The opening lead is strong, though be careful that word choice projects a neutral tone of voice. For example, in these sentences: "A vegan diet may be one way to address manage diabetes in a less tedious manor than by following the diet recommended by the American Diabetes Association (ADA). Although the adoption of a vegan diet may not eliminate the many facets of the treatment of Type 2 Diabetes, it may be a more effective way to alter an individual's diet in a cost effective way.[3]"--I would recommend taking out the "less tedious manner" part, maybe indicate if it offers more variety than the ADA-recommended diet. Also, in the second sentence above, the statement "it may be a more effective way" should be presented in a declarative statement, e.g. "some argue that it is an effective way..." Have you found any sources that offer a counterargument? If so, I would recommend including. Otherwise, good work!Amyc29 (talk) 03:04, 25 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]