Talk:Wildest Dreams/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 04:54, 24 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Picking this up for a review. Aoba47 (talk) 04:54, 24 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

Please provide ALT text for the infobox image.

Added.

The infobox says that the song was recorded in 2014, but I do not see this in the prose for the lead or the body of the article or supported by a citation. Unless this information can be sourced, I would remove it from the infobox.

Good point. Removed.

The recording studios are included in the infobox and the credits and personnel section, but I would also include this information with the related citation in the writing and composition section.
I am uncertain about this sentence, Swift wrote the songs with its producers Max Martin and Shellback., since according to the 1989 article, Swift wrote songs Ryan Tedder, Jack Antonoff, and Imogen Heap. I would modify this sentence to say something like the following, wrote a majority of the songs, as that would be more accurate. Or you could just say that this particular song was done this way rather than attributing it to the whole album.

My bad, I meant "the song" which means "Wildest Dreams specifically. Fixed.

Since power ballad is linked in the body of the article, I would link it in the lead to be consistent.
I am uncertain about this part, that incorporates a dramatic production equipped, specifically the phrase "a dramatic production". It reads to me more like something a critic would say to praise a production rather than a more objective statement, but I would be curious to get your feedback on this.

Changed to "atmospheric" which I think would be NPOV

That seems better to me. Aoba47 (talk) 03:33, 25 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, the inevitable fate of their relationship., I would clarify it as something like inevitable end as the "fate" word choice can be somewhat ambiguous.

Fixed.

Since you mention contemporary critics in the lead, I would also mention retrospective reviews since this is talked about in the body of the article.

Added

In the lead, I would also mention the positive reviews for the music video to cover both sides of its reception.

Added

Writing and composition

I would incorporate the information on Swift's heartbeat into the prose and use the appropriate citation. I think that would be preferable over having the information just in the audio sample and only paired with a citation in a later section.

Done

I am uncertain about this part, incorporates a sultry, dramatic atmosphere , as it reads more like praise than a more objective statement on the song. I have a similar uncertainty about a similar statement in the lead so I would be curious to get your feedback on this as well.

Reworded so that it sounds NPOV

I would include the original singers of "Be My Baby" in the prose (i.e. the Ronettes)].

Done

I would link verse, especially since other music-oriented words like chorus has a link.

Done

For quotes like the following, "bad, but he does it so well.", the punctuation should be on the outside of the quotation marks since it is not a full quote. I would recommend checking throughout the article for this.
I am uncertain about this sentence: For Slant Magazine's Annie Galvin, Swift's luscious breathy vocals—which is atypical of her usual singing style—suits well with the song's lyrical theme. The part about Swift using breathy vocals (which I would link) and how it contrasts with her usual singing style fits this section as is very useful and insightful information. However, the later part about whether or not Swift's vocals fit the song's lyrical theme is more of a review on Galvin's part, and would be a better fit in the critical reception section instead.
The article is included in Category:Songs composed in A-flat major, but I do not see that information cited or included in the actual article.

Release and commercial performance

Great work with this section. You've done a great job with making this information compelling, which is difficult to do for a section on chart numbers. I have traditionally seen the commercial performance section included after the critical reception section, but this structure makes more sense for this specific song, since it charted prior to its release and was supported by a remix.

Thank you! :)

Critical reception

Please provide ALT text for the Lana Del Rey image. I would also add the year the photo was taken to the image caption.
For the Sputnikmusic, I would use something like a writer for Sputnikmusic or a reviewer for Sputnikmusic to be consistent with how critics' names are included in the prose elsewhere.

Done

I would paraphrase the "most seductive" quote as I do not think it is absolutely needed, and there is already a fair amount of quotes used in this section.

Done

This is more of an observation than a comment, but it is interesting to see Alexis Petridis' opinion of Del Rey, particularly in the greater context of how critics responded to Del Rey's persona and her influence on other artists. I just find that fascinating.

Haha, agree!

Link Jon Caramanica here and in the citation. I would encourage linking the authors' names in the citations whenever he or she has a Wikipedia article.

Done

Since you already introduced Hannah Mylrae in a previous section, I am not sure you have to include her publication again. The same applies to Alexis Petridi. You can still use their full names (as I find that helpful for readers to avoid having them look back at another section to understand who is being talked about), but I am not sure if the repeated publication is necessary. I will leave this up to you though.

Hmm, I think adding the publication again (without wikilink) could be somewhat helpful

Understandable. It should be fine as it currently stands. I can see how it would be helpful to readers who jump to certain sections and may miss the critics' earlier intros. Aoba47 (talk) 03:34, 25 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I would link bridge to help readers that may be unfamiliar with music jargon.

Done

For this sentence, It was also awarded at the 2017 ASCAP Awards., I would instead specify who received the award. I am assuming it was all three songwriters, but it would be nice to know for sure.

Thank you for pointing that out. Done

Development and synopsis

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For this part, The accompanying music video was directed by Joseph Kahn, who previously directed the, I would avoid repeating "directed" twice in the same sentence.
I would specify the year that The Secret Conversations was published in the prose.
For the three films (The African Queen, Out of Africa and The English Patient), I would include the years they were released.
I would link green screen. It is a pretty universally understood concept now, but I think it is always best to add a link for something more technical like this just in case.

All Done

Reception and criticism

I love music video screenshots, but I do not think there is a strong enough rationale for this one. I have been repeatedly told to only use non-free media when it can illustrate something that cannot be conveyed through the prose alone, and I do not think the screenshot passes that test. I do not think the screenshot would help someone understand the Elizabeth Taylor/Richard Burton comparison, especially for readers who have never heard of them (which is a shame). I could see a stronger justification for a screenshot that showed more of the African setting or Swift's character being attended to by the fictional film's crew and modifying the image caption to fit that angle (but then again, I'm not sure how about using a screenshot to focus on negative reviews).

The shot was added in 2015 and I too personally don't like that shot... I'd try to look for another shot if possible, or else I'd just remove it

I would avoid one-word quotes like "lush", "spellbinding", and "steamy" as I have been told they are not particularly helpful.
For this sentence, Lauren Duca of HuffPost similarly criticized the video for bringing back "white colonialism" despite the fact that both its producer and its editor are African-American., I could not find information in the source that mentions the race of the producer and editor. I would strongly encourage removing the final part entirely so the criticism stand on its own and the reader can come to their own conclusion on this issue.

Live performances and other versions

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Final comments

Wonderful work with the article. Once everything is addressed, I will be more than happy to pass this. I hope you are having a great start to your week. Aoba47 (talk) 01:20, 25 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Thank you so much for reviewing the article. I have responded to your comments accordingly. Regarding the screenshot, I have replaced it with an image of a prolific journalist who criticized the music video. Hope you're having a great week ahead! HĐ (talk) 03:37, 25 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for addressing everything. I will look through the article again tomorrow just to make sure I did not miss anything. Aoba47 (talk) 03:41, 25 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I will ✓ Pass this now. Aoba47 (talk) 16:12, 25 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]