Talk:Time to Get Tough/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 16:56, 11 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:56, 11 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The "Further reading" section uses Harvard anchors, but the citations are not set up to point to them; if these are really further reading, and not used as citations, use "ref=none" to disable the Harvard anchors.
- done Argento Surfer (talk) 21:58, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
~~He criticizes the success rate of President Barack Obama: "success rate" is vague; can we be more specific?~~
- I couldn't find anything on this in the citation, so I just took it out. Argento Surfer (talk) 21:58, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
~~The summary section needs copyediting for repetitive sentence structure and flow. "He asserts... He provides... Trump writes... He characterizes... The author recalls", just from one paragraph.~~
I re-wrote most of this section. Let me know if anything still needs changing. Argento Surfer (talk) 19:15, 7 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Trump subdivides the book into sections on Social programs in the United States, Health care in the United States, and Taxation in the United States: these topics are linked to suitable articles, but I don't think we need "in the United States" in the link text; it's obvious from context.
- done Argento Surfer (talk) 21:58, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
~~No comma is needed in indirect quotations such as "Trump laments, the Affordable Care Act will..." or "characterizing it as, causing economic harm..."~~
- I removed the ones specifically named and one other. I'll look for others when I c/e for repetition.
~~observing the Russian leader wishes to beat neighboring countries in the region: what does "beat" mean here? Economically outdo?~~
- Hard to say - Trump himself was pretty vague. He said "Putin has also announced his grand vision: the creation of a ‘Eurasian Union’ made up of former Soviet nations that can dominate the region." Would a direct quote here be best? Argento Surfer (talk) 21:58, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  Could do; or use "dominate", which I don't think would require quotes; it's the right word, even if it's in the original. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 02:12, 7 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  I've rewritten the sentence to replace beat with dominate and avoid repeating the word later. Argento Surfer (talk) 16:47, 7 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
~~He writes of difficult individuals he has negotiated with in the private sector, calling them difficult to deal with and stubborn: wordy.~~
done Argento Surfer (talk) 21:58, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
~~Time to Get Tough functioned as a prelude during Trump's decision process: it's not clear what this means. If it just means it was published while Trump was still deciding, then say that.~~
I've rewritten this paragraph for clarity. Argento Surfer (talk) 16:47, 7 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
~~to sync more tightly: "sync" is a little too colloquial for the encyclopedic voice.~~
This was rephrased. Argento Surfer (talk) 16:47, 7 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I don't think we need all the details of exactly where it ranked in the bestseller lists; can't we just give its peak position on the most important list it was on, and if necessary the debut position too? The rest seems like trivia.
I shuffled this section around and pruned a bit. I think it flows better now. Argento Surfer (talk) 16:47, 7 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
~~the genre of the work was placed within marketing himself and conservative ideology: wordy, and clumsy phrasing; took me a second to realize that "himself" was Trump.~~
reworded. Argento Surfer (talk) 16:47, 7 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Lozada wrote of the book's reissue with repackaging, i.e., minimal changes to content and significant changes to its exterior, that was a fitting "metaphor in there somewhere for the campaign of a real-estate developer.": this isn't grammatical.
rephrased. Argento Surfer (talk) 16:47, 7 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

-- Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 17:22, 11 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Sagecandor, are you planning to work on this? If not I'll fail the article in another week. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 14:14, 18 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I've addressed the points raised. Please let me know if more work is needed. Argento Surfer (talk) 16:47, 7 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Much improved. Promoting. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 01:50, 10 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.