Talk:Ridge Racer (1993 video game)/GA1
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 20:17, 28 January 2016 (UTC)
So many happy childhood memories! JAGUAR 20:17, 28 January 2016 (UTC)
Initial comments
[edit]- Unlink 1993 in the lead
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- "created by Namco" - per WP:VG/GL, this should be developed and published by Namco
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- "and was later ported to the PlayStation console" - in what year? 1995?
- 1994, and done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- "and home systems" - home consoles, surely
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- "In the game, the player assumes the role of a car driver and competes against other computer-controlled cars" - this sounds a bit vague and wrong. It sounds like it's characterising racing games by putting the player in the role of a 'car driver' protagonist. "Computer-controlled cars" sounds iffy too. How about something like In the game, the player must race through ('x' amount of tracks) in order to finish first in an arcade-themed race or something like that
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- "The first home version of Ridge Racer was released in Japan in 1994" - de-link 1994
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- "for the original Sony PlayStation console" - just PlayStation will do fine. Also, de-link it because it's already linked
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- "were released in 1995" - again, unlink 1995
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- "The game was re-released in Japan for the PlayStation The Best" - are you sure this is the right order? Is there a missing colon?
- I don't think so, from looking at this and this. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- " others excelling at acceleration or turning" - unlink 'turning', seems a bit obvious
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- The third paragraph in the gameplay section could be merged with the second, in order to improve flow
- Unlink 1990 and 1994 in the Development and release section
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- The second paragraph in the Development and release section could be split into two
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- A lot of overlinking. "as a launch title for the PlayStation." - unlink PlayStation here
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- The reception section is a bit choppy. I would advise getting rid of almost all of the first paragraph which mentions the scores from CVG, because mentioning scores instead of reviewer's criticism is discouraged in VG articles
- I rewrote it instead. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- I would recommend rewriting the reception section so it's less reliant on scores in the prose. It should mention more on what the reviewers liked and disliked about aspects of the game. I recommend comparing this to other VG GAs
- I compared it to Midtown Madness, whose reception section doesn't mention scores at all, and I think it's now at least somewhat like that. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- Impact sounds informal. Why not rename this to 'Legacy'?
- Done. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- Cut down two images in the Other releases section, and possibly lose the 'sequels' section because it's too short
- Done. However, I'm concerned about citing the information. Now, the lead section is the only place to mention the sequels, and there are no citations to reliable sources that verify the information. Though I'm not sure how much of a problem this is, given that the same is true for the Midtown Madness article. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
On hold
[edit]It's a bit rough, but it'll take some work in order for this to meet the GA criteria. The thing that worries me most is the unconventional reception section. It should be paraphrased because it relies too much on scores and statistics rather than prose. I'll leave this on hold for a bit and see what happens. JAGUAR 15:47, 29 January 2016 (UTC)
- @Jaguar: I've made the changes you've suggested. The only things that concern me are the sources, and the variety of English used. There is one citation to a YouTube video, which I think is okay, as it's from a proper reviewer (it was done as an April Fools joke but it's still a serious review) but I'd like to be sure. As for the English, I'm not sure if there is a correct variety of English here. I changed the date format to its current format because previously they were mixed. I'm not sure which of the date formats I was supposed to change to, but this one is the least ambiguous. As I write in British English, the English was mixed too. I changed that too, and in the interests of consistency, I picked the variety that better matched the date format, which is British. Should I change it, or it this okay? And speaking of consistency, I notice the cover art is the American version (the PAL cover is smaller; but I assume there's no issue with the cover size?), but the game screenshots are not. Ridge Racer Turbo is also the American title, and as noted in the article it was called Ridge Racer Hi Spec everywhere else (Demo or Version depending on where). Perhaps that title doesn't represent a worldwide view of the subject? Also, does "10 ft/3 m-wide, front-projected triple screen" comply with the manual of style? I'm not sure about the use of digits here, although I suppose using words here might make it harder to read? Also, is it necessary to include the album info, rather than just a mention? I notice other articles such as Final Fantasy Tactics do, but this is really just remixed game soundtrack, none of which is particularly notable. I think there's more than one album, and I think it may be unnecessary to include all of them anyway. Adam9007 (talk) 02:03, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- Thank you for addressing all of the points. I picked out the width measurements during my first read-through but I forgot to bring it up in my actual set of comments! I've corrected it myself, using the conversion template (which I would have recommended). All in all though, this article is in much better shape now. British English should be fine, as long as it stays consistent with one English variant, it's not a big deal. Just a minor nitpicking of mine. On that note, the cover art is fine, WP:VG/GL states any cover art is acceptable. It's also interesting because Ridge Racer (along with Jumping Flash!) was one of the first three PS1 games to be released, which is why it has a rectangular cover as opposed to the CD-shaped ones. Album info should be fine if it's relevant to the game, and I think it is. Anyway, looks good now, so I'll be promoting.
JAGUAR 15:29, 30 January 2016 (UTC)
- Thank you for addressing all of the points. I picked out the width measurements during my first read-through but I forgot to bring it up in my actual set of comments! I've corrected it myself, using the conversion template (which I would have recommended). All in all though, this article is in much better shape now. British English should be fine, as long as it stays consistent with one English variant, it's not a big deal. Just a minor nitpicking of mine. On that note, the cover art is fine, WP:VG/GL states any cover art is acceptable. It's also interesting because Ridge Racer (along with Jumping Flash!) was one of the first three PS1 games to be released, which is why it has a rectangular cover as opposed to the CD-shaped ones. Album info should be fine if it's relevant to the game, and I think it is. Anyway, looks good now, so I'll be promoting.