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Talk:Nartanasala (1963 film)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 16:54, 3 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]


Will have this to you in a couple of days. JAGUAR  16:54, 3 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

(talk page stalker) It is unclear when Keechaka Vadham was released, but saying (1916—1918) may give the impression that it was a serial film running for 1916 to 1918. Perhaps a footnote could be added instead? --Kailash29792 (talk) 06:23, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Kailash29792: Done.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 07:13, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

[edit]
  • "(English: The dance pavillion)" - pavilion
Done. As asked.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:12, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "notably Virata's brother-n-law Kichaka" - missing 'i'
Done. As asked.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:12, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Urvashi cursed him to lose his masculinity and turn an eunuch" - into an eunuch
Done. As asked.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:12, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "to be directed to a shami tree (prosopis cineraria)" - this needs to be italicised
Done. As asked.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:12, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Uttara Kumara is happy to serve him. Arjuna uses the Sammohanastra weapon, which puts the Kaurava army to sleep." - I think these two sentences would flow better if they were merged
@Jaguar: I have tweaked the sentence a bit. Do give it a look and let me or Pavan know.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:12, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks, that looks good. JAGUAR  16:52, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Though Kameswara Rao offered to credit Kondala Rao as the first assistant director, the makers altogether left his name later" - does this mean that the makers left his name later on in the credits? I don't understand this part
@Jaguar and Pavanjandhyala: It may have something to do with the "Salalitha Raaga Sudharasa" song tune. I leave this to you, Pavan.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:12, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@Jaguar and Ssven2: His name was not there in the opening credits for inexplicable reasons. ** Pavan Jandhyala ** 01:20, 6 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Real life wrestlers Dandamudi Rajagopal and Nellore Kantharao were signed to play" - real life sounds a bit off. I would definitely get rid of it
Done. As asked.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:12, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Out of 21, the songs used in the film are nine in number" - try Out of 21 songs produced, only nine are used in the film or something similar
Done. As asked.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:12, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Nartanasala was released on 11 October 1963 in 26 centers" - centres
Done. As asked.  — Ssven2 Looking at you, kid 15:12, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Sounds like an excellent film! Those were all of the minor prose issues I could find upon my first read-through. I also made a couple of edits if that's OK. The article is solid overall and all of the sources check out, so once all of the above are addressed I'll pass this. JAGUAR  12:13, 5 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I really thank you and Ssven2 for the participation in this task, Jaguar. A special note of thanks to Kailash as well. All your comments have been addressed and i hope that the hurdles are clear now. :) ** Pavan Jandhyala ** 01:20, 6 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you both for addressing them! With all of those issues out of the way this is good to go. Excellent work. JAGUAR  12:29, 6 May 2017 (UTC)[reply]