Talk:Mortensrud station/GA1

GA Review

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Hi, I will be reviewing this. Comments will be posted soon.—Chris! _ct 23:15, 4 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

General

~~Dates are missing commas (eg. 24 November, 1997). Please check the entire article~~
Terms like "line 3" or "24 minutes" need a non break space in between. Please check the entire article

Lead

The lead is a bit short comparing to other train station GAs Lysaker Station or Flekkefjord Station. Consider expansion to better summarize the article.
Prose is not too bad, but suffers from some organization issues. Examples include:
- You says "on the Østensjø Line" in the first sentence and "line 3" later. This is redundant, assuming that the Østensjø Line is as same as line 3. Perhaps remove the first one and move that info to the later sentence.
  - this is because there is not a 1:1 relationship between the two. The Østensjø Line was built as a tramway in 1923, and denotes the section from Tøyen to Mortensrud (it is a physical railway). Line 3 is the number on the trains that happen to run along the Østensjø Line, in addition to others (i.e. the Common Tunnel and Sognsvann Line). This has not always been the matter, and the last rearrangement of numbers was in 2006. My logic regarding their location in the lead, is that the first is concerned about the physical location and facilities of the station, while the second half is related to the station service (both by metro and bus). Arsenikk ^(talk) 20:33, 6 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
- "there is an adjacent shopping center" is placed oddly and affects the flow in the second sentence. Please reword

Other sections

The first sentence "On 29 October 1967, the Østensjø Line was extended to Skullerud, upgraded to metro standard and connected to the Oslo T-bane network." sounds like all three things are done in a single day.
~~"The extension (without the new station) cost NOK 215 million." -> "The extension (without the new station) costed NOK 215 million."~~
"The station was taken into use on 24 November 1997 ..." - Just say "The station was first used on 24 November 1997 ..."
~~"The station costs NOK 35 million." -> "The station costed NOK 35 million."~~
- Costed? I thought it was "cost". Punkmorten (talk) 07:46, 5 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
~~"Mortensrud is an open station, located one story down from the surrounding area." - "Open station" and "one story down" are unclear. Clarify~~ See Pyrotec's comment
"It has step-free access, and at the same level as the buses." -> "It has step-free access, and at the same level as the bus station."
- What do you mean by "step-free access"?
  - Step-free access is a degree of accessibility (it is used on 90 articles, including {{London Overground Stations with Step-Free Access}}. It means that a person can board the train without having to walk up or down any stairs (no steps). I have wikilinked to the accessibility article to aid those readers who would like the term elaborated. Arsenikk ^(talk) 20:33, 6 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"Only the western of the two side platforms is in use, where direct connection can be made with buses." -> "Only the western portion of the two side platforms is in use, where direct connection can be made with buses."
What do you mean by "The station is drawn by Arkitektskap."? I believed you meant "designed by Arkitektskap".

I am placing this on hold.—Chris! _ct 00:09, 5 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Dates don't need commas, see how it's like in a template: 24 November 1997. Punkmorten (talk) 07:41, 5 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Pyrotec

I haven't read the article, only the comments.

Dates with commas appears to be a US thing; they are not required in British-English.
In British-English the relevant statement is: "The extension (without the new station) cost NOK 215 million."
Mortensrud is an open station, located one story down from the surrounding area." - "Open station" and "one story down" are unclear. Clarify. It is (almost) perfectly clear to me; but there is a typo it should be "storey" not "story". "Open" tends to mean open access, i.e. no ticket barriers, etc.

Pyrotec (talk) 10:48, 5 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your input. I don't usually read British-English, so your comment helps me review better. I've strike out the comments you pointed out. Thanks—Chris! _ct 18:32, 5 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review. I have acted accordingly, except where noted (the lines and step-free access). Please do not hesitate if this is not sufficient. Arsenikk ^(talk) 20:33, 6 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

More comments

"On 29 October 1967, it the upgraded metro standard was first used ..." - The "it" should be removed.
"Only the western of the two side platforms is in use, where direct connection can be made with buses." -> "Only the western portion of the two side platforms is in use, where direct connection can be made with buses." - still haven't fixed it
You haven't fix Pyrotec's third point
"The rapid transit serves the station each 15 minutes" -> "The rapid transit serves the station once every 15 minutes"

The lead is still a bit short, I think. —Chris! _ct 03:19, 8 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Sorry for missing those bits. Arsenikk ^(talk) 07:59, 8 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, looks good. I am passing this. Thanks for you patience.—Chris! _ct 18:46, 8 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]