Talk:Hurricane Gordon/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Yellow Evan (talk · contribs) 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"southwestern Caribbean on November 8 after two tropical waves enhanced convection around in area of disturbed weather." I'd change "in" to "an" since "around in" sounds weird. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Yea, I barely touched the lede, my bad. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Happens to me all the time don't worry. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
"dissipated by the next day over South Carolina." no need for by. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Kk. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
A few of the sentences in the lead could be better. " When Gordon affected Jamaica, it caused $11.8 million in damage and four deaths." to " Upon affecting Jamaica, it was responsible $11.8 million in damage and four deaths." YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- That works. Originally that sentence was longer, but I changed it due to using similar wording later on. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"There were 1,122 deaths in the country, partially due to deforested hills, and damage was estimated at $50 million. There were five deaths in neighboring Dominican Republic. In Cuba, Gordon caused $100 million in damage, and 5,906 houses were damaged or destroyed. " you start back to back sentences with there, kinda weird IMO. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Changed. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"In Florida, the storm caused $400 million in damage, much of it agricultural, and there were eleven deaths, eight of them direct" infobox those not mention any indirect deaths. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane
- Added, good catch. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"on November 10 it intensified into Tropical Storm Gordon after reaching open waters. " comma after 10. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- I disagree, not needed. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"The circulation of the cyclone was initially very broad, covering much of the western Caribbean Sea," wikilink "circulation" to atmospheric circulation. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- KK. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"From surface synoptic reports, the National Hurricane Center " wikilink NHC plz. Than you. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"and by November 14 " comma after 14. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane
- Ehh. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Shortly thereafter i" comma before "it". YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane
- KK. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"On November 19, the storm turned to the southwest and later to the west, and Gordon weakened into a tropical depression before striking Florida again near Cape Canaveral on November 20. " I'd break up this sentence; it is a little long IMO. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"n the mainland, two universities were also closed.[12]" which two?
- Eh, is it that notable? They are included in the newspaper article, but I thought it was kinda trivial. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - I think so, universities I'd say are fairly important, there areas large as decent sized cities in some cases. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 02:41, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - Alright, added. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:35, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"The high death toll from Gordon made it the deadliest hurricane since Hurricane David in 1979," mention it was the ATL. Also, just noticed the the EPAC had a near 3,00 dead storm during that time. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Good catch. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"In Upala in" comma before "in". YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- No, read the whole sentence. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"At Guantanamo Bay Naval Base, a station recorded 69 mph (111 km/h) sustained winds, with gusts to 120 mph (190 km/h) during a microburst; the winds were not representative of the storm, and Gordon's landfall intensity was estimated at around 46 mph (74 km/h).[1] " I'd squeeze a "however" in here somewhere. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Meh, it's pretty long as it is. I split it. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Yea, I was going to suggest that, but I did not want to give you too many comments. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 02:41, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

More at 22 UTC tonight. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 16:54, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"was halted after the engine failed, the anchor was ripped off, and the mainstay was torn.[44] " shouldn't there be a semicolon after "failed" not a comma. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 21:06, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- No, it's a combination of events. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Aftermath and lack of retirement". Why is the words "lack of retirement" in the section header? YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 21:06, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- That's a pretty significant thing that didn't happen, given the death toll. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
How come we have a 1 sentence aftermath in the lead? YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 22:45, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- What do you mean? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Why do we have a 1 sentence paragraph in the aftermath? YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 02:41, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - We don't. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:35, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
When is Gordon used again? YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 22:45, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- That's trivia. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Agreed, thought we include it for retired storms. 02:41, 12 April 2013 (UTC)
" In response, agencies through the United Nations donated $735,000," wording just does not seem right here, I'd change it to " In response, agencies donated $735,000 via the United Nations". YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 21:06, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- What's the diference? Via versus through? Via implies something different. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"The World Meteorological Organization issued an official statement crediting Jamaica and Cuba's warning infrastructure for the low loss of life there from Gordon, and blaming Haiti's lack of such a system for the large number of deaths there.[49]" move this to the end of the paragraph. IMO just weird here, the next sentence is a good paragraph opener, just no this one. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 21:06, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- That works! --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Add the FL canes list to the see also. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 21:06, 11 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Sure. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:02, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Refs 4-6 need first names. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 02:41, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:35, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Ref 29 author should be consistent to the rest. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 02:41, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:35, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
M staff writer and get a real publisher for Ref 43. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane
- K. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:35, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Ref 49 needs to be complete, make the dates consistent and add an accessdate. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 02:41, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:35, 12 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]