Talk:Glengoyne distillery/GA1

GA Review

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Overview of GA Review (see here for criteria)

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1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

   Prose needs some proofreading and copyediting. Details below.

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (no original research):

   Referenced; minor tweaks to formats on individual references needed. A concern is that only web-based sources are used, with strong reliance on primary sources. Some sources are tourism or vendor websites.

3. It is broad in its coverage

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   a (fair representation): b (all significant views):

5. It is stable.

   Low volume of edit activity; no edit wars apparent.

6. It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.

   a (copyright tagged and captioned): b (appropriate use; lack of images does not in itself exclude GA):

   Free images, particularly historical ones, would be a good addition. The existing images are free, which is good.

7. Overall:

   a Pass/Fail:

Overview

You've done great work improving the article substantially from the rather neglected stub it was. There are some text problems listed below but these are generally easy to fix.

The main limitation of the article, is the small amount of information it contains. Excluding references/links and putting aside the Lead section — which WP guidelines mandate should summarize key elements in the article body — the article has one section: History. The Products section is more or less a catalogue of the product range, sourced from the subject's website, and other than the listing only consists of one sentence. A GA article must be broad (yet focused) in its coverage.

Well written requirement

Lead

• The lead section should summarise the article content and should not give extra facts absent from the main body. (WP:LEAD) You mention air drying here, but not elsewhere.
• "Glengoyne Distillery is a whisky distillery founded in 1833 at the south of the Scottish Highlands and is known for working continuously since it was first opened."

You state it "is known for" having operated continuously since opening. If this is unusual among distillers, say because others suspended operations during the Great War, you should make this clear. Incidentally, "first" opened is redundant given it's presumably only opened once.

• Listing 3 awards in the lead makes it a bit lengthy. The comparatively short length of the article (and, accordingly, its lead) probably make those details seem longer.

History

• "Although Glengoyne is one of a small number of distilleries operating in the area today, it was not always the case."

This is phrased awkwardly.

• "It has been recorded that..." Perhaps "Records show..."?
• "In the 1820s an Act of Parliament was passed, which reduced the cost of the license required to distill and the duty on spirit." (or 'spirit duty')

Missing a 'the' there, and a comma before the dependent clause.

• Also, which statute? The Glenlivet / Scotch whisky articles refer to an Excise Act, which may be relevant. The Spirit Safe article mentions 1823 legislation, but gives no details. The UK Statute Law Database doesn't indicate any relevant 1820s legislation at a quick glance, though does detail an 1833 Excise Act. The 'Scotch Whisky Heritage Centre' history page also discusses provisions of an 1823 Act.

Currently the text refers to an 1820s Act then says 'shortly' after introduction of that act the still was legalised (it occurred in 1933). The gap between those two occurrences is up to 13 years. Clarifying the details will improve the flow and give interesting context for readers.

• You've given a founding date of 1833. If the distillery existed prior to this (though not as a legal entity), try to say from when and how its form differed (moonshine?).

• "The novels of Sir Walter Scott novels were set in the area surrounding Glengoyne with the character Rob Roy, who was known for many illegal activity's such as cattle thieving, believed to have once hidden in an oak tree just 300 meters from Glengoyne to avoid detection by the local law enforcement."

Proofread! :P This states all of the novels were set there. Check this is what you mean. You use passive voice here. Rewriting the sentence to use active voice will make it punchier. The possessive is wrongly used: activities not activity's. There's some remaining American English here rather than the British English used elsewhere in the article: 'meters' and 'local law enforcement'. (The last one tends to be used in American English more, but is okay to keep if you prefer it.)

• On reflection, I'm not sure if this paragraph is truly relevant. It seems more of a local interest point with little tying it to the actual distillery.

• "Originally owned by George Connell who built the distillery and took out a lease on the surrounding land on which was built a warehouse which is still in use today."

A run-on sentence here. Recast the sentence so this part flows better.

• "The distillery remained with the Lang Brothers until it was taken over..." Redundant: 'it was'.
• "The acquisition of Glengoyne Distillery means Ian Macleod is now a fully integrated distiller, blender and bottler."

This will benefit from editing to an encyclopedic tone. It has a press release feel to it currently.

• "Under Ian Macleod, Glengoyne saw a vast increase in output capacity as well as a similar rise in sales." Some expansion would be nice here to cover the changes introduced under the ownership, whether they were minor or extensive to the point the name was retained purely for marketing reasons, etc.
• "Glengoyne Distillery is situated at Dumgoyne, on the south-western edge of the Scottish Highlands, close to Loch Lomond, about three miles west of Strathblane and to the north of Glasgow. ...distillery itself sits upon the Highland Line, the division between the Highlands and Lowlands of Scotland..." It's unnecessary to say what's around it to all compass points. Its proximity to Strathblane, for example, can be omitted.
• "Glengoyne is regularly referred to as the "most beautiful distillery in Scotland"." By whom? Looking at their website I saw this claim repeated a lot, but without any details. Likewise, the article's photos of the building don't justify the claim for me. It wasn't until I saw other photos on the press page that it began to make sense.
• "The distillery has produced..." Recommend changing this to 'produces'.
• "The Glengoyne visitor centre attracts over 35,000 visitors a year, as well as entertaining significant numbers of corporate parties."

It's not particularly significant it is hired out as a corporate function venue, as several distilleries are through VisitScotland’s Business Tourism Unit.

• "Due to the substantial growth in recent years of the premium malt whisky market, primarily the Scotch whisky industry, Glengoyne is principally marketed in the UK, Scandinavian, French, German and USA markets."

a) This has a corporate annual report tone, and would benefit from rephrasing. b) The dependent clause (part following 2nd comma) doesn't correspond to the preceding part. c) I don't think it fits under a 'History' heading.
Although the official website gives those territories as principal markets, by contrast the Scotch Whisky Association (trade assoc. for Scotch Whisky industry) 'Scotch at a Glance - Facts and Figures on the World of Scotch Whisky' pamphlet listing the top 10 markets for 2007 gives USA, Spain, France, Singapore, South Korea as the top 5. This difference might be worth looking into.

Products

• "At its current operating capacity Glengoyne produces over one million litres of new make spirit ..." make spirit is not wikilinked. Defining the term somehow will help readers.
• "... every year which goes to producing" Please rephrase.
• "... a number of different whiskys." For British English the plural form ends -ies. Per deadtree versions of Oxford English dictionary, Collins dictionary; and, online Columbia Guide to Standard American English
• Product range data source is a primary source, the distillery itself. Independent reliable sources, particularly for subjective information, should be used if available.

Images

• The article includes two photos; both are free, which is good. The second photo is just a closer nighttime version (or, more accurately, has had effects applied), of the first one. It would be nice to illustrate a site & organisation operating for over 175 years using historic photos. The website suggests it greatly expanded during the 1960s, so today looks quite different to its original appearance. Some example photos illustrating what I mean are on the press page of the official site.

Other Items

• Use templates like {{DOClink}} for referencing online file formats like .doc/PDF. The Google cache method you use gives machine-specific information in the URL (like the browser you use), and linking directly to the source is almost always better.
• Identifying and clearly expressing unique points of Glengoyne Distillery will improve the article. The article suggests a few possibilities of factors setting it aside from other distillers, though not in one place within the article:
  • Its scenic beauty.
  • Its continued operation since it opened, over 175 years ago.
  • Its favouring warm air to dry their barley. Might also like to point out what effect — if any — warm air drying has. Of course, independent sources will be preferable. The official website suggests some effects:

• "The final character of this special malt is affected by the wood of the cask in which it matures. Glengoyne carefully selects Spanish and American oak casks, (some of which will have been seasoned with sherry in Spain before shipping to Scotland) from which this malt slowly extracts unique flavours during the ten years or more maturation. The milder climate of the southern Highlands effects the maturing whisky over time and results in the fresher lighter taste associated with this special malt. However it is the lack of harsh peat smoke to dry the barley which has the greatest effect on the final malt." (In file: A Single Malt Whisky with a Difference) and
  • "Unlike most other single malts Glengoyne has been preserving the essence of its flavour for decades by using air-dried barley rather than barley dried using harsh peat smoke. The result is a more subtle, complex whisky in which all of the delicate flavours are freely allowed to express themselves." (At Glengoyne malt whisky range page)

• The Glenlivet article states it "is the best selling malt whisky in the United States, and the fourth best selling in the UK with a 7% market share. Current global sales total 6 million bottles per annum." Market share and global sales for the Glengoyne brand is something you should include. You give its current distilling capacity, and refer to a "rise in sales" under its new owner, but nothing beyond that. The article should use specifics, avoiding vague terms of size.

• Possible section suggestions: Character section (see, for example, first sentence and 2nd paragraph in this section of the Talisker article. You would need to cite any information using reliable sources.), perhaps a Geography and climate section. The Scotch regions.svg image might be of interest too.

• The Jack Daniels article Talk page discusses possible structure for that article which may help brainstorming.
• The Macallan article includes "In 2007, a bottle of 1926 vintage Macallan was sold at a Christie's auction for $54,000, making it one of the most expensive bottles of liquor ever sold." This is a trivia item of course, but if something similar related to Glengoyne can be found it's probably worthy of conclusion.

• The vendor states on their website: '"In 1984, Lang Brothers became suppliers of whiskies to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother's household. The Royal Warrant has since been assigned to Ian Macleod Distillers Limited and still takes pride of place on all our Glengoyne packaging." Their having a royal warrant might be worth mentioning. With that said…it doesn't specify they supplied the Royal family with any Glengoyne malts. (The Ian Macleod website indicates it's the "Hedges & Butler" and "Langs" blended whiskies acquired by Ian Macleod in 1998 and 2003 respectively which have the royal warrants.)

• Dividing products by segment e.g., premium line, special/one-off bottlings, core products could work well. According to their website, "the Glengoyne portfolio consists of the 10 years old, 12 years old cask strength, 17 years old, 21 years old and Glengoyne 1972 Vintage, as well as limited special bottlings of Glengoyne.". The embedded list you use currently may be more effective as prose, instead. (See WP:EMBED.)

Final comments

The Good Article criteria do not require articles to use books as sources. Nonetheless, consulting a wide range of different sources can only help enhance an article. While your solely using websites for referencing is within the GA criteria and other guidelines, that approach tends to suit popular culture topics, like recent television programmes with little or no offline sources available. Whisky is a core Scottish export and naturally a point of Scottish pride, plus there's the long-established status of this distillery. A lot has been written over the years that might be valuable in fleshing out the article. An Amazon book search on 'whisky' or 'scotch whisky' returns many results beyond mere tasting guidebooks; libraries may well carry these. The Scotch regions image page and some of the wiki articles referenced above also cite some titles. Although it's not obligatory, given the organisation's historical nature, I strongly encourage wider use of offline sources here, particularly historical and analytical coverage.

While reviewers can place reviews on hold for a week or so, so small issues can be addressed, this works best for things like copyediting, fixing references, and other such tweaks; requiring larger expansion and restructuring work within a short hold period would not be fair on article contributor(s). It's fairer therefore that I fail it against the GA criteria in its current form. It's difficult for me to point to a strong example article for you to look at; many of the whisky and distillery articles I looked at are brief. Being a trailblazer is no bad thing of course! The Glenlivet is a GA, and is a little longer (although still quite short). Ideas for other things to include will probably come naturally from what you discover in any further research you do.

I understand it can be frustrating to wait for a review, after working hard to improve an article, only to then have a fail result applied. I hope you don't feel disheartened. The article has strengths, and you've put together some good information. It's just not quite GA standard – yet. Please do feel welcome to consider renominating after further developing it. –– Whitehorse1 23:02, 24 January 2009 (UTC)