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GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 09:39, 8 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I will start reviewing this article today, though may need more than a day to review it since I'm somewhat pre-occupied with preparing another article. --K. Peake 09:39, 8 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

[edit]
 Done
 Done
 Done
 Done
 Done
 Done
  • Though the company having an office in London is sourced in the body, the same info for NYC and LA is not
 Done, added to the history section
  • "absorbed Turn First Artists which" → "absorbed Turn First Artists, which"
 Done
 Done
  • Zayn Malik is not sourced as having been managed by the company in the body, unlike the others
 Done
  • Even though it is sourced that the Pussycat Dolls are signed to the label, nowhere in the body does it say about the reformation mentioned here; also remove the introduction to them from here since the identity should only be in the body if they are not the main subject, like the artists previously mentioned
 Done
 Done
  • Target posthumously to posthumous in the Wikitionary
 Done
  • "is subject to a wrongful death lawsuit by Peep's mother against FAE" → "was subject to a wrongful death lawsuit by his mother against the company"
 Done
  • "in late 2019-early 2020." the part in bold is not sourced in the body
it's implied in the source here on January 6th where the company provides a legal response - the implication is that the case is still on-going. There's no mention of a verdict yet. ≫ Lil-Unique1 -{ Talk }- 17:49, 11 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Lil-unique1 That helps make more sense of this, but why don't you write "of which has been going through the US justice system since late 2019." instead? Also, good job on responding to my first batch of comments; when will you have the remainder done, ideally? --K. Peake 21:23, 11 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks Kyle. I'll try and address the rest either tomorrow or by Wednesday at the latest. Perhaps check back on Wednesday to be sure? ≫ Lil-Unique1 -{ Talk }- 22:48, 11 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Lil-unique1 Yeah I will try to do that, but try to implement the above change or something similar. --K. Peake 06:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

History

[edit]
  •  Done
  • "by music manager, Sarah Stennett." → "by music manager Sarah Stennett."
  •  Done
  • "Stennett has been" → "With the agency, Stennett has been" to be more specific
  •  Done
  • Zayn Malik should be mentioned in this sentence and add appropriate ref(s) to back the info up, plus the last listed musician needs to have an "and" before them.
  •  Done
  • "the Grammy award-winning" → "the Grammy Award-winning" with the wikilink
  •  Done
  •  Done
  •  Done
  • Wikilink Access Industries
  • "would form of a new joint venture called First Access Entertainment." → "would form a new joint venture called First Access Entertainment (FAE)." with the wikilink
  •  Done
  • Maybe it should directly be mentioned somewhere here the venture was founded in 2015, as only the year of the announcement is sourced currently?
  • "First Access Entertainment offers services" → "The company offers services"
  •  Done
  • "as their President of" → "as their vice president of"

Access records and artist management services

[edit]

Roster

[edit]
  • The issue that I mentioned about the Pussycat Dolls earlier should probably be fixed by writing out the info in prose here
  •  Done

Digital tours

[edit]
  • Are you sure the during interview part should be in the first sentence since the overseeing mentioned did not happen in the interview; he only spoke of it?
  •  Done
  • "Senior VP of A&R at First Access, Le'Roy Benros," → "senior VP of A&R at FAE le'Roy Benros" with the target per MOS:LINK2SECT, and add wording in-between here and the quote if you move the interview part mentioned above; ask me if you have any queries regarding this
  •  Done
  •  Done
  • If the interview part is switched, then the other would start as: "Commenting on the venture during a 2020 interview with the Los Angeles Times,"
  •  Done

Other Ventures

[edit]
  • Retitle to Other ventures, as the capitalisation of the second word is not needed
  •  Done

First Access Publishing

[edit]
  • Add a space after publishing company
  •  Done
  •  Done
  • "global copyright administration."" → "global copyright administration"." because this is not a full sentence quoted
  •  Done
  •  Done
  •  Done

First Access Sports

[edit]
  • "Stennett said "We" → "Stennett said: "We"
  •  Done
  •  Done
  • "added "First Access Entertainment has a" → "added that FAE "has a" to reduce the amount of times the full name is quoted, as this is easy here when it begins the quote
  •  Done

Fund by Access Entertainment

[edit]
  •  Done
  • "for youth entrepreneurs launching ventures centred around culture." → "for entrepreneurs launching ventures centred around youth culture." since the current phrasing is the wrong way round per the source
  •  Done

The Qube

[edit]
  • "and collaborate. The flagship" → "and collaborate". The flagship" since the later part is stating facts and shouldn't be part of a quote like an opinion piece or statement
  • Target soundproofed to Soundproofing
  •  Done
  • "garden terrace is due to open in January 2020."" → "garden terrace, and it is due to open in January 2020."
  •  Done
  • "in the venture include," → "in the venture include;"
  •  Done
  •  Done

Controversies

[edit]

Death of Lil Peep

[edit]
  • Img looks good
  •  Done
  • "the rapper was managed by First Access Entertainment." → "he was managed by FAE." to avoid stating "rapper" too close and not using the abbreviation
  •  Done
  • "Peep's mother Liza Womack filed" → "The rapper's mother Liza Womack filed"
  •  Done
  • "against First Access in 2019, "accusing" → "against FAE in 2019, accusing" per earlier comment about quotes
  •  Done
  • "to the rapper's death in 2017 of an accidental drugs overdose."" → "to his death in 2017 of an accidental drugs overdose."
  •  Done
  • "to take them."" → "to take them"."
  •  Done
  • "In responding statements, First Access expressed" → "In a responding statement, FAE expressed"
  •  Done
  • Remove "company statement from First Access." since that is already clear from the preceding text
  •  Done
  • "First Access formally filed" → "FAE formally filed"
  •  Done
  •  Done
  • "all claims including claims of" → "all claims, including ones of"
  •  Done
  • "and wrongful death."" → "and wrongful death"."
  •  Done
  • "protective of him from day one."" → "protective" of Lil Peep "from day one"." since we do not know who "him" refers to otherwise
  •  Done
  • "First Access said that" → "The company said that"
  •  Done
  • "First Access supported the release" → "FAE supported the release"
  •  Done
  •  Done
  • "that had no" → "of having had no"
  •  Done
  • "the JVA [(joint-venture agreement)]." → "the JVA [(joint-venture agreement)].""
  •  Done

Adam Lublin

[edit]
  •  Done
  •  Done

References

[edit]
  • Copyvio score for refs invoked in the article looks too high at 55.6%; fix this by paraphrasing a good amount of quoted text, as a high amount of URLs are flagged
  •  Done
  • Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
  •  Done
[edit]
  • This section is useless, as the website is linked to in the infobox

Final comments and verdict

[edit]
  •  On hold for a week until the issues are fixed; there was some edit warring in the past but you did a good job resolving that as the nominator! However, I did recognize original research and useless speech marks as two of the most noticeable issues with the article in its current state. --K. Peake 17:11, 8 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lil-unique1 You have not added "With the agency," to the start of the Stennett sentence, also you have misinterpreted any times where I asked for grammar to be not inside speech marks as me asking you to add doubles; there should only be single speech marks on these occasions, I only used excess speech marks because I was quoting text... plus the external links section still needs removing. --K. Peake 19:07, 13 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Kyle Peake I've addressed with "with agency" thing in the Stennett sentence. If we take reference 22 as example, the title of the article is "It's a home for a new generation of creators": New West London musical space The Qube set to launch in January., per MOS:QWQ, for a quote within a quote use single quotation marks. As the reference template automatically makes titles of references quotes/generates quotation marks, the quoted clause "It's Home for a new generation of creators" should appear in single quotation marks which is exactly what I did? ≫ Lil-Unique1 -{ Talk }- 20:34, 13 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lil-unique1 Sorry, I used the wrong phrasing; I meant when you have used speech marks twice consecutively, placing quotes within quotes, not calling out double speech marks since that means " and those are correct instead of '. I am referring to parts like: provide global copyright administration"." The speech marks after the full stop on occasions like that need removing. --K. Peake 21:11, 13 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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