Talk:Dammit/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cloudz679 (talk · contribs) 17:37, 11 March 2015 (UTC)

Prose

• The sentence "The song was serviced to radio remixed by Tom Lord-Alge, which includes cleaner instrumentals and a drum roll during the intro." doesn't seem to be grammatically accurate, or comply with WP:LEAD
• "created by Hoppus" needs context in the first mention outside of the lead
• "blow out his voice" the meaning is not clear
• what are "top spins"?
• "MCA's marketing strategy for "Dammit" involved waiting until after the band's Warped Tour performances wrapped in order to have a retail story to back up radio promotion efforts." wording seems very close to the source. could you put "retail story" in other words?
• "The label first serviced "Dammit" in August 1997 and several SoCal stations were quick to pickup the single" unfamiliar with the term "serviced", plus "pickup" cannot be used as a verb without a space. Very close wording to the source here, too
• "Mainstream rock received "Dammit" in November" isn't mainstream rock a genre? How can a genre receive a song?
• "bumping it into stress rotation in December" - is this jargon? Also seems to be very close to the original wording at the source
• "Consequence of Sound, in a 2015 top 10 of the band's best songs, ranked it as number one" better to start with concrete terms rather than "it" and "the band" in this instance
• "The song was famously used" WP:PEACOCK
• "Doane was on board with the musicians improvising during the shoot" clarify?
• DeLonge isn't given a first name anywhere in the prose

Referencing

• "The song peaked at number 11 on Billboard '​s Hot Modern Rock Tracks chart, and charted on the airplay chart of the Billboard Hot 100.[9]" can't see that in the citation
• "The song was called a "radio staple"" - a little more context is called for, more accurately "a modern-rock radio staple"
• I don't feel that quoting the entire first four lines of fn14 is justified. The quote doesn't reflect the connection between the song and film which is detailed elsewhere in the article.
• "The song was also included in the music video game Guitar Hero World Tour, along with an in-game representation of Travis Barker, who becomes available to play upon completing the song in the drum career." has a reference at the Guitar Hero World Tour page, so why not use that here?
• The chart positions for Billboard are not evident at fn9

C679 10:00, 12 March 2015 (UTC)

Two more things:

• The image used doesn't seem to fully conform to the Non-free use rationale guideline. The word "Google" is insufficient as a source, as this is not evidence that it has been "published or publicly displayed outside Wikipedia by (or with permission from) the copyright holder".
• The infobox details where and when it was recorded, but this is unreferenced and omitted from the article itself, so please add and source. C679 10:08, 12 March 2015 (UTC)

All existing prose and image issues have been resolved. Regarding the referencing, <ref name="UScharts"/>(fn9) is not allowing me to see anything about this song, something I mentioned before. Does the reader need to go somewhere from the linked page?

• The guitar hero reference which was added, is dead. The underlines the importance of using access dates.
• I wouldn't necessarily take Hoppus' estimate of 10 minutes or DeLonge's estimate of 5 minutes as facts suitable for the article, regarding how long the song took to write.
• The FIDLAR and Good Charlotte covers aren't appropriately referenced - looks like an error with the ref name attributes.

C679 08:22, 13 March 2015 (UTC)

@Saginaw-hitchhiker:. See above. C679 18:40, 16 March 2015 (UTC)

@Cloudz679: gotcha! all refs, including the chart data, have been updated. i've also removed the 5 to 10 minutes thing. Saginaw-hitchhiker (talk) 02:01, 17 March 2015 (UTC)

• Just made a minor change to the ref names, the article now meets the criteria. C679 14:16, 18 March 2015 (UTC)