Talk:Cyclone Alessia/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 18:13, 11 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"Tracking generally west to west-southwest" - not what the track map says. Also, why not say in the first sentence that it formed near Indonesia?
- First TWO by the JTWC and first noting as a TL by the BOM were on November 20; the track actually starts on November 19. Also, the location is based on the TWO, which doesn't mention Indonesia (nor the initial southerly track pre-TL stage). Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
You should link what "a tropical cyclone" is, and what it means in this basin in the lede.
- Added a note clarifying. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"roughly 1,465 km (910 mi) north of RAAF Learmonth in Western Australia" - again, why not indicate Indonesia? It's much closer than the nearly 1000 mile distance you have here.
- See previous reasoning Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"and prominent outflow which extended into the mid-latitude westerlies" - which --> that
- Done Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"A few hours later" - from when? The previous sentence said it moved generally eastward
- Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
What is a "Category 1 tropical cyclone"? SSHS?
- Clarified Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"previously steering the storm east" - I think it should be "eastward", but your call
- I trust your judgement more than mine :P Changed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Northern Emergency Services acting regional manager, Krissy Riley, advised residents living in substandard housing to decide what public shelter they would use during the storm" - kinda trivial
- Removed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Further west" - any time it's a distance, it should be "farther". Remember, far = distance, so farther
- Fixed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Local authorities reported no serious traffic accidents in relation to the storm nor injuries" - we usually don't indicate when stuff doesn't happen
- Removed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Don't start two sentences with "Following" in the "Gulf of Carpentaria" section
- Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"No known damage took place in relation to Alessia's second landfall, likely due to the sparsely populated nature of the region." - this isn't covered by the source.
- Removed anyways based on your above comments. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 13:20, 12 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

All in all, decent, just some stuff to be removed and small fixes. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 18:13, 11 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]