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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: HJMitchell You rang? 10:39, 11 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking it on! Liqudlucktalk 00:53, 12 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
No worries. I like you guys- you don't make me work too hard on the reviews! HJMitchell You rang? 04:10, 12 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]


general
background
  • "embodies the album's theme"- since it's the first mention after the lead, you should name the album.
  • The prose is excellent right up until "In addition...", where the rest of the paragraph lets it down; it just needs to flow a bot better, but nothing a brief copyedit couldn't cure
critical reception
  • Prose could again do with some work. Resist the temptation just to list reviews with a "person of place said..."- engage your reader!
  • Might be an idea to add "[Cyrus]" after " than any of Miley..."
music video
  • name "the song" for first mention in a section
  • more importantly, the section is completely unreferenced
You speak Italian too? Yes, Italian sources work- will you add it? Liquidlucktalk 02:34, 19 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Oops... I guess I forgot to put a key word, "Youtube" - it's their Youtube page. That's why I'm worried. And I don't speak Italian fluidly, I know a lot of words but cannot put them in a sentence. I can understand it though. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 03:38, 19 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Ah. That throws a bit of a spanner in the works. Youtube is not a reliable source. Is ther anything else? At all? HJMitchell You rang? 09:09, 19 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
I ran another extensive google search and nothing. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 22:31, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Can you find anything to verify that it was an excerpt from the movie? That would be enough, then you could just remove the other stuff and I could pass this *crosses fingers*. HJ Mitchell | fancy a chat? 22:41, 25 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
 Done After scavenging the web for almost an hour I found a reference, AOL. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 18:12, 30 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • " in which Cyrus' character, Miley Stewart, spots her love interest, Travis Body played by Lucas Till, riding a brown horse" is not very nice to read. It would probably flow better if you just put the actor's name in parenthesis.


Overall, I'm very happy with the quality of the article. The main issues are the prose and the lack of references in the music video section. I'll keep this page and the article on my watchlist, but drop by my talk page if you need a hand. HJMitchell You rang? 04:10, 12 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I believe everything is done. -- ipodnano05 * leave@message 18:12, 30 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]