Talk:Brandon Miller (basketball, born 1979)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: TonyTheTiger (talk · contribs) 18:32, 27 September 2013 (UTC)

I will do this review.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 18:32, 27 September 2013 (UTC)

WP:LEAD

• It seems a bit long for an article that is less than 15KB of readable prose. 4 paragraphs and 1866 KB is probably a bit top heavy.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 01:30, 28 September 2013 (UTC)
• The opening paragraph should name all the places that he coached and played at his highest level of accomplishment. (I.e., high school play is optional).--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 01:30, 28 September 2013 (UTC)
• The second paragraph does not need the phrase "Miller grew up in New Castle, Indiana where" unless he was notable while growing up. Just jump to high school if that is his first. Then pare down the details.
• "started all 97 games of his career. He scored over 1,000 points in just three years at Butler, and" seems to be excess.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 01:30, 28 September 2013 (UTC)
• Not sure if individual game detail is necessary in the LEAD.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 01:30, 28 September 2013 (UTC)
• The 3rd paragraph seems solid.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 01:30, 28 September 2013 (UTC)
• The 4th has a lot of fluff.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 01:30, 28 September 2013 (UTC)

Early life

• If you are going to make the claim "Brandon Miller went on to became a star point guard for New Castle." it needs some further detail. Was he All-American, All-State, All-Metro. How did he rank in the Indiana Mr. Basketball voting during his senior year? Does he have any state records or high rankings?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:20, 30 September 2013 (UTC)

College

• Unpipe the year for each tournament so that it is visible.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:37, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
• Did he do anything notable in the 1999 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:37, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
  • He did not have a significant contribution. Do you want me to make this explicit with a statement like "Miller scored no points in 12 minutes of NCCA tournament action."? --ThaddeusB (talk) 21:58, 4 November 2013 (UTC)
    • O.K. according to his Missouri State year at Sports-reference, he did not do that much. Either say he played 12 minutes in the two games or say nothing your choice.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:31, 4 November 2013 (UTC)
• For opponents such as Wake Forest and Arizona, you want to find the team season article or use the {{cbb link}} template.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:37, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
• Swap {{cbb link}} template in for the redlinks.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 19:49, 24 October 2013 (UTC)
• Why don't you discuss Horizon League Men's Basketball Tournament? They won it in 2001. Did Miller play? do anything notable? The MVP was probably from Butler was it Miller?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:37, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
• "The following season, Miller led Butler to a 25–5 record and the Horizon League regular-season title". How so? Did he lead them in any stats?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:37, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
• What happened to the regular season champs in the 2002 conference tournament?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:37, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
• "It looked as though Butler might miss the NCAA Tournament for the second straight year," needs a citation--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:37, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
  • The way you have rephrased it, it sounds like they almost missed the 2003 tournament by two different selection processes.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:21, 24 October 2013 (UTC)
• Butler's "Most Outstanding Male Athlete" Is this an All-Sports award?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:37, 30 September 2013 (UTC)
• "Team of the Sesquicentennial"? How long has Butler played intercollegiate basketball?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:37, 30 September 2013 (UTC)

Personal life

• "Miller and his wife Holly have two young sons, Mason Allen, age 6, and Michael David, age 4" needs an {{asof}}--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 00:43, 1 October 2013 (UTC)

Images

• An image or two would be nice. If nothing else add one of that huge high school arena.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 00:46, 1 October 2013 (UTC)

• I am putting this on hold. I will reevaluate it in a week. I will also monitor progress in the interim.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 00:44, 1 October 2013 (UTC)
  • The nominator has been inactive since September 2. I have asked if someone wants to step in for him using the talk page template. If no one does in the next few days, I will fail the article.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 11:46, 16 October 2013 (UTC)

Response

Thank you for the review and your patience in not failing it when I was not around. I will attempt to address your concerns this weekend. Sorry for the delay, ThaddeusB (talk) 19:19, 18 October 2013 (UTC)

• I have trimmed the lead, taking into account your suggestions. --ThaddeusB (talk) 16:54, 21 October 2013 (UTC)
• I am working on researching Miller's HS days and will definitely take your suggestion of providing specifics rather than the vague "star" label. --ThaddeusB (talk) 17:56, 21 October 2013 (UTC)
  • I have now added various info about his HS career. --ThaddeusB (talk) 18:55, 24 October 2013 (UTC)
• NCAA Tournament & team season links modified as suggested. --ThaddeusB (talk) 18:48, 21 October 2013 (UTC)
• I have further tweaked the lead and I am working on researching many of the remaining questions. --ThaddeusB (talk) 18:55, 24 October 2013 (UTC)

• • This review is inching along. I see that on November 4, you responded to another concern. I can be patient, but we need to see constant progress. It should not be a full week between attempts to respond to more of the concerns.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 00:55, 11 November 2013 (UTC)
    • My apologies about another gap in activity... I plan to make substantial progress over the next week, as I will have more free time than I've had recently. --ThaddeusB (talk) 20:02, 22 November 2013 (UTC)
      • I have tried to be patient. You have barely editted this article since October 24. The only edits were two template substitution edits on November 4. It is now almost 4 weeks without an edit and 5.5 weeks without a significant one. I am FAILING this review. When you have time to respond to concerns renominate.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:38, 1 December 2013 (UTC)