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[[File:Geniiiito.jpg|thumb|One example of an involuntary celibate]]'''Involuntary celibacy''' (or '''incel''') is the state of a person who has not established an [[intimate relationship]] or engaged in [[sexual intercourse]] for reasons other than voluntary [[celibacy]] or [[sexual abstinence]]. The term is used especially for people who, despite general expectations, have had little to no sexual or romantic experience. |
[[File:Geniiiito.jpg|thumb|One example of an involuntary celibate, due largely in part to a lack of [[sex-appeal]], social skills and [[charisma]]]]'''Involuntary celibacy''' (or '''incel''') is the state of a person who has not established an [[intimate relationship]] or engaged in [[sexual intercourse]] for reasons other than voluntary [[celibacy]] or [[sexual abstinence]]. The term is used especially for people who, despite general expectations, have had little to no sexual or romantic experience. |
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==Definition== |
==Definition== |
Revision as of 00:56, 22 April 2009
Involuntary celibacy (or incel) is the state of a person who has not established an intimate relationship or engaged in sexual intercourse for reasons other than voluntary celibacy or sexual abstinence. The term is used especially for people who, despite general expectations, have had little to no sexual or romantic experience.
Definition
An involuntarily celibate person is someone who is in the majority of cases male and fails to initiate or sustain a sexual or romantic relationship, despite his/her desire to experience such a relationship. Afflicted people may suffer from loneliness, frustration, depression, and may be mistaken for homosexuals who are hiding their sexuality.
Historian Elizabeth Abbott, in her book The History of Celibacy, devotes one chapter to involuntary celibates. She includes in this category a wide variety of people:[1]
- Those in social circumstances that deny them access to potential partners (for example, being imprisoned, or living in a society with skewed sex ratios caused by the death of many men in a war, or preferential abandonment or abortion of females - the latter is particularly severe in China and India[1][2]
- Those without access to either birth control or the monetary resources to deal with a child
- Those denied the right to marry by social norms (for example, widows in certain Hindu communities, or younger sisters in societies that demanded the oldest be married first)
- Women whose families lacked money for the dowries required by their society
- People who would lose their jobs if they were known to be sexually active (for example, apprentices and journeymen in certain trades in Medieval Europe, or certain Western domestic servant or educator positions prior to the past century)
- Men castrated against their will
There is controversy concerning the duration of the celibacy needed to qualify for the label of involuntary celibacy. Some people class themselves as involuntarily celibate because they are not in a relationship at the moment, though they have been in the past. Critics to this view suggest that the proper label for this is simply being "single", which, unlike "involuntarily celibate," is in common usage and does not carry potential social stigma, while involuntary celibacy is more or less a semi-perpetual condition. Donnelly and Burgess used a floor figure of six months of involuntary celibacy in their study design. Others apply the term only to those who have never been involved in a sexual and/or romantic relationship. Some critics also include medical celibates who are physically unable to engage in sexual activities due to disabilities, serious injuries and other health problems along with the side effects of prescrption drugs.
Research
A study was initiated in 1998 by researchers from Georgia State University when a member of an online discussion group for involuntary celibates inquired about current research on the subject. [2] The study, Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis, [3] was published in 2001 in the Journal of Sex Research, produced by the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. A news article reporting on the study indicated that involuntary celibacy can lead to anger and depression. [4] Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis has also been included in an anthology of scholarly literature. [5]
In a March 6, 2004 letter by Brian G. Gilmartin, who performed extensive studies on involuntarily celibate males (whom he termed "love-shy"), he noted that "as many as 40 percent of the cases of severely love-shy men would qualify for a diagnosis of 'Asperger's Syndrome'", a proportion supported in his 1987 book.[6]
Criticism
Very little research has been published on involuntary celibacy, and few statistics are available, although it is finding its way onto university syllabi.[7][8] It does not appear to be a concept or a phenomenon taken seriously by those who do not experience it. Relatively little research is available on the subject regardless of the few sources listed here. Most focus on other aspects of celibacy, such as non-cels, and vol cels.
However, conditions and behaviors associated with involuntary celibacy may include severe depression,[9] self-harm, frequent masturbation, mental illness, self-medication, (by binge drinking or the use of narcotic drugs)[10][3] , stalking, rape and even suicide. Also, involuntary celibacy could lead to self-absorption and an unhealthy preoccupation with human sexual behavior. [11]. In theory, intelligent, attractive and successful men may be drawn to either bisexuality or the gay lifestyle as an alternative in finding a suitable partner.[12]
Contributing factors
Lack of sex-appeal, social skills or charisma, disability, socio-economic factors, such as homelessness, poverty, the lack of a post secondary education, and unemployment.[13] often play a role in preventing courtship. Additionally a lack of suitable partners, or discomfort with the idea of sex outside of an established "relationship" may also be contributing factors. Men are also prevented from having sexual intercourse due to erectile dysfunction (E.D.).
In many societies (especially Western), heterosexual men are traditionally almost always required to assume the assertive role in pursuing the opposite sex and courtship is competitive amongst single, eligible men, who typically employ verbal strategies and tactics to seduce women. Proficiency at these tactics, is called having "game" in American slang, and this is frequently equated with confidence, a trait that is popularly valued in men by women. It is the belief of most in the seduction community that confidence with women exists independently of intelligence, education, status, money, or talent and success in other areas of life. One of their most common observations is that a more confident male of lower education and status can and does frequently win a woman's attention away from a shy male who has more intelligence, education and status. Single, eligible men also determine that the majority of eligible, compatible women are already in monogamous, long-term relationships.[4][5]
Involuntary celibacy may also be perpetuated by cognitive biases and/or negative explanatory styles such as learned helplessness or fundamental attribution error. Learned helplessness occurs when, after experiencing repeated rejection, an individual is conditioned to assume all other potential prospects will also reject them. Every "signal" of interest may be dismissed, even when the object of one's attraction is genuinely interested. "Actual helplessness" occurs when there are no signals of interest to be misinterpreted. The Fundamental Attribution Error can cause individuals to see people as being mean or shallow towards them when they have experienced a rejection of some form, instead of explaining the behaviour through situational or environmental factors. Unmarried individual adults living in rural or suburban areas are often unable to find a suitable partner due to social and marriage patterns.
Single heterosexual men may adopt "zero tolerance" lifestyles due to the possiblity that they will be accused of date rape or sexual harrassment if they were to initiate contact with a woman. They may also be deterred from going to a prostitute due to the financial costs, along with the possibility of being arrested by the police. Therefore, some men may reluctantly become celibate.[6][7][8][9][10]
See also
- Asexuality
- Attachment theory
- Average Frustrated Chump
- Love-shyness
- Marriage
- Nice guy
- Unrequited love
References
- ^ Elizabeth Abbot (2001). "Coerced Celibacy: Involuntary Celibacy". A History of Celibacy. New York: Da Capo Press. pp. 303–337. ISBN 0-306-81041-7.
- ^ For many, sexless lifestyle is not a choice, Georgia State University News Release, July 24, 2001 (accessed December 14, 2006)
- ^ Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis D. Donnelly, E. Burgess, S. Anderson, R. Curry, J. Dillard, Journal of Sex Research 38(2), S. 159-169. (2001) (accessed December 14, 2006)
- ^ Study shows that involuntary celibacy can lead to anger and depression American Association of Single People, November 12, 2001 (accessed December 14, 2006)
- ^ Sex Matters AbeBooks.com, (accessed December 14, 2006) DEAD LINK! (Also: if this is a regular book, then citation should be by ISBN.)
- ^ Gilmartin, Brian G. (1987). Shyness and Love: Causes, Consequences and Treatment. University Press of America, Lanham, Maryland (701 pages). ISBN 978-0819161024.
- ^ Sexuality in Society syllabus for San Francisco State University, Fall 2004 (accessed December 14, 2006)
- ^ Sociology of Sexuality Syllabus for Washington State University, Summer Quarter, 2006 (accessed December 14, 2006)
- ^ Flocker, Michael. 2004."Top Five Health benefits of Regular Sex" The Hedonism Handbook. DaCapo Press. Cambridge, MA. p.129,ISBN 0-306-81414-5
- ^ Seabury, David. 1964. "Whiskey in Its Place" The Art of Selfishness. Julian Messner Inc. New York. pp.180-183
- ^ Russell, Bertrand. Of Marriage & Morals. Liverlight Publishing Corporation. New York. 1970. pp.290-291, ISBN 0-87140-211-4
- ^ Posner, Richard A. 1994. "Homosexuality: The Policy Questions". Sex and Reason. First Harvard University Press. pp.291-323 ISBN 0-674-80279-9
- ^ Townhall.com::A revolution without a man to love::By Suzanne Fields
External links
- Sexless in The City
- Outsiders Trust, a UK-based organization founded to help the disabled and others suffering from involuntary celibacy.
- Incel Support, an Involuntary Celibacy support group
- Incel Project
- Love-shy.com forums, a support group for those suffering from Involuntary celibacy, Love-shyness and related problems