I-message: Difference between revisions
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In [[interpersonal communication]], an '''I-message''' is an assertion about the feelings, beliefs, values etc. of the person speaking, generally expressed as a sentence beginning with the word "I", and is contrasted with a "you-message", which often begins with the word "you" and focuses on the person spoken to. [[Thomas Gordon (psychologist)|Thomas Gordon]] coined the term ''"I message"'' in the 1960s.<ref>[[#refGordon1995|Gordon 1995]] p. xiii</ref> |
In [[interpersonal communication]], an '''I-message''' is an assertion about the feelings, beliefs, values etc. of the person speaking, generally expressed as a sentence beginning with the word "I", and is contrasted with a "you-message", which often begins with the word "you" and focuses on the person spoken to. [[Thomas Gordon (psychologist)|Thomas Gordon]] coined the term ''"I message"'' in the 1960s.<ref>[[#refGordon1995|Gordon 1995]] p. xiii</ref> |
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== Shifting gears == |
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Gordon states, "Although I-messages are more likely to influence others to change than You-messages, still it is a fact that being confronted with the prospect of having to change is often disturbing to the changee." A quick shift by the sender of the I-message to an [[active listening]] posture can achieve several important functions in this situation, according to Gordon. He states that in [[Leader Effectiveness Training]] courses, this is called "shifting gears", and states that the person might shift back to an I-message later in the conversation.<ref>{{cite book |title=Leader Effectiveness Training (L.E.T.): The Foundation for Participative Management and Employee Involvement |last=Gordon |first=Thomas |authorlink= |coauthors= |year=2001 |publisher=Perigee |location= |isbn=0399527133, 9780399527135 |pages=113–115 |url=http://books.google.com/?id=sXr4tbe45ekC&pg=PA113&dq=%22leader+effectiveness+training%22+%22shifting+gears%22 }}</ref> |
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==Research== |
==Research== |
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Revision as of 19:01, 10 September 2010
In interpersonal communication, an I-message is an assertion about the feelings, beliefs, values etc. of the person speaking, generally expressed as a sentence beginning with the word "I", and is contrasted with a "you-message", which often begins with the word "you" and focuses on the person spoken to. Thomas Gordon coined the term "I message" in the 1960s.[1]
Research
A study in Hong Kong of children's reactions to messages from their mothers found that children are most receptive to I-messages that reveal distress, and most antagonistic towards critical you-messages.[2] A study with university students as subjects did not find differences in emotional reactions to I-messages and you-messages for negative emotions, but did find differences in reactions for positive emotions.[3]
Use of the concept
A book about mentoring states that communications specialists find that I-messages are a less threatening way to confront someone one wants to influence, and suggests a three-part I-message: a neutral description of planned behaviour, consequences of the behaviour, and the emotions of the speaker about the situation.[4]
A manual for health care workers calls I-messages an "important skill", but emphasizes that use of an I-message does not guarantee that the other person will respond in a helpful way. It presents an I-message as a way that one can take responsibility for one's own feelings and express them without blaming someone else.[5] A manual for social workers presents I-messages as a technnique with the purpose of improving the effectiveness of communication.[6]
Notes
- ^ Gordon 1995 p. xiii
- ^ Cheung 2003 pp. 3–14
- ^ Bippus 2005 pp. 26–45
- ^ Shea 2001 p. 50
- ^ Davis 1996 p. 100
- ^ Sheafor 1996 p. 166
References
- Gordon, Thomas (1995). Making the patient your partner: Communication Skills for Doctors and Other Caregivers. Greenwood Publishing Group. ISBN 0865692556, 9780865692558.
{{cite book}}: Check|isbn=value: invalid character (help); Unknown parameter|coauthors=ignored (|author=suggested) (help) - Cheung, Siu-Kau (2003). "How do Hong Kong children react to maternal I-messages and inductive reasoning?". The Hong Kong Journal of Social Work. 37 (1). Retrieved 2008-08-23.
{{cite journal}}: Cite has empty unknown parameter:|month=(help); Unknown parameter|coauthors=ignored (|author=suggested) (help) - Bippus, Amy M. (2005). "Owning Your Emotions: Reactions to Expressions of Self- versus Other-Attributed Positive and Negative Emotions". Journal of Applied Communication Research. 33 (1 doi=10.1080/0090988042000318503): 26. doi:10.1080/0090988042000318503. Retrieved 2008-08-23.
{{cite journal}}: Cite has empty unknown parameter:|month=(help); Missing pipe in:|issue=(help); Unknown parameter|coauthors=ignored (|author=suggested) (help) - Shea, Gordon (2001). How to Develop Successful Mentor Behaviors. Thomas Crisp Learning. ISBN 1560526424.
{{cite book}}: Cite has empty unknown parameter:|coauthors=(help) - Davis, Carol M. (2006). Patient Practitioner Interaction: An Experiential Manual for Developing the Art of Health Care (4th ed.). SLACK Incorporated. ISBN 1556427204, 9781556427206.
{{cite book}}: Check|isbn=value: invalid character (help); Cite has empty unknown parameter:|coauthors=(help) - Sheafor, Bradford W. (1996). Techniques and Guidelines for Social Work Practice. Allyn and Bacon (Original from the University of Michigan). ISBN 0205191770, 9780205191772.
{{cite book}}: Check|isbn=value: invalid character (help); Unknown parameter|coauthors=ignored (|author=suggested) (help)