Identifier: waltmasonhisbook00maso (find matches)
Title: Walt Mason : his book
Year: 1916 (1910s)
Authors: Mason, Walt, 1862-1939
Subjects:
Publisher: New York : Barse & Hopkins
Contributing Library: Scott - York University Libraries
Digitizing Sponsor: Ontario Council of University Libraries and Member Libraries

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yshow us how sportsmanlike delegates die. The OldVirtues (49) Rating TodMuch Walt Mason I EAT too much, the doctor tells me;with arguments like this he quells me,when I inform him that his potions,of which Ive swallowed endless oceans,dont cure my shingles, mumps or tetter, ormake me feel the least bit better. Theredbe less sickness, grief and wailing, theredbe less suffering and ailing, the doc says,pausing in his carving, if men would leavethe table starving. Oh, let your meals beslim and meager; quit eating while you stillare eager for more roast beef and spuds andgravy, and beans—the kidney kind or navy.Oh, leave the table while youre hollow,and while you still desire to swallow the billof fare from A to Izzard, from soup rightdown to chicken gizzard. Then youll becured of your diseases, as laundered dog re-lieved of fleas is. Thus do the wise andlearned physicians attack the modern-dayconditions. We cure ourselves, by meansdistressing, and pay the doctor for his guess-ing. (50)
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Walt Mason JIM JIMPSON stutters when he talks;his tongue or else his larynx balks; ittakes a long and painful while for himto cross a verbal stile; his face goes throughcontortions weird, and froth is blown alloer his beard. And yet Jim Jimpsondoesnt mind; he seems to think that he willfind spellbinding wreaths within his reach—hes always glad to make a speech. HobHoskins educations bad; he sidesteppedschool when but a lad, and now he keeps thelanguage bent; he says, I seen, and Ihave went. When he orates, poor Gram-mar groans, and has an ache in all its bones,and cultured people rend their hair, andbeat their breasts and weep and swear. YetHoskin thinks he is a peach at reeling ofif awitty speech. It seems as though all misfitgents, who cannot talk for thirteen cents,who torture people when they spiel, andmake of language an ordeal, are sure theywear, with graceful ease, the mantle ofDemosthenes. The SpeechMakers (51) A FewRemarks (52) Walt Mason I GAILY sought the picnic ground,wh

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