Talk:Ioan Joldea
(Redirected from Draft talk:Ioan Joldea)
Draftified
[edit]Hi AustroHungarian568, I draftified the article so it could be incubated in draft space, as it is not yet ready for article mainspace. The template I used when doing so refers to language and grammar. There are minor grammar errors/omissions, but the bigger problem is with language. Some of the language used is quite unclear or confusing:
- How was someone from the 1550s a commissar? Is there another, better word?
- How was Joldea "elected" as a lord - usually a hereditary position, inherited.
- The "camp" in Țuţora camp seems to be the wrong word?
- The whole sentence
Joldea was notched in the nose so that he no longer had the right to reign and was made a monk.
makes no sense. What does "notched in the nose" mean? How would whatever that means prevent someone from having the right to reign? How could he have been made a monk if he was already married to Ruxandra?
In addition, there is only one reference - which says it was accessed in 2016? When these issues are addressed, and more in-line references are added, the article can be submitted to WP:AFC for review and a move back to article space. Hope this helps. BastunĖġáḍβáś₮ŭŃ! 17:00, 29 September 2024 (UTC)