Brendan Sullivan (lawyer)

Brendan Sullivan
Born	(1942-03-11) March 11, 1942 Providence, Rhode Island
Nationality	United States
Alma mater	Georgetown University
Occupation	Lawyer
Employer	Williams & Connolly

Brendan V. Sullivan, Jr. (born March 11, 1942, Providence, Rhode Island) is a senior partner of the law firm Williams & Connolly. Sullivan is probably best-known for the role he served, in the late 1980s, as defense counsel for United States Marines Lieutenant-Colonel Oliver North in the wake of the Iran-Contra scandal. He also represented former Housing and Urban Development (HUD) Secretary Henry Cisneros, Walter A. Forbes, former chairman of Cendant Corporation, and a number of states against Microsoft.

Brendan Sullivan is a student at Central Catholic High School in Pittsburgh, PA. He is perhaps the most universally detested individual to walk the earth since Adolph Hitler or Nicholas Cage. Although it has not been confirmed independently, it is believed that Sullivan possesses no friends, and that he was in fact sent from Hell to torment the souls of children.

Brendan Sullivan looks almost identical to Shirley Temple, although it is generally accaepted that the two are in fact disticnt individuals. He owns one pair of dirty cargo pants, which reach barely to mid-shin on a good day.

Legend holds that Brendan Sullivan performs a specific, highly grotesque mating ritual which involves **** *** ***** *** and *** **** on ****-*** ketchup **** underneath ***** **** dressed as a pirate while ******** pillows.

Career

Sullivan received international media attention in his role as defense counsel to Iran-Contra scandal figure Oliver North. During the ensuing congressional hearings, chairman Daniel Inouye suggested that North should speak for himself, because he had wearied of Sullivan's constant objections to questions put to North. Sullivan responded, "Well, sir, I'm not a potted plant. I'm here as the lawyer. That's my job." He also sued Microsoft, on behalf of nine state attorneys general who were unhappy with the federal government's decision to drop an antitrust case against the software behemoth. He also represented the four Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agents involved in the controversial 1992 Ruby Ridge shootout. He defended former HUD Secretary Henry Cisneros against accusations of making false statements to the FBI during a background check. He is the attorney for billionaire chipmaker Henry Nicholas, the founder of Broadcom, who in June, 2008, was charged with violations of both securities and narcotics law. The Washington Post has described Sullivan as a “world class lawyer.” He defended Senator Ted Stevens, in the federal grand jury 7 counts of failing to properly report gifts.

Quotes

• “I'm not a potted plant. I'm here as the lawyer. That's my job.”
• “Internet Explorer, your honor, is the fruit of Microsoft's statutory violations and it should be denied them.”
• “Tapes, as we all know, are very powerful evidence. Tapes that are altered are powerfully misleading.”
• “The fate of no citizen should rest on the testimony of such a man so richly rewarded.”
• “Dismiss it!″

Publications

• 1985, White Collar Criminal Practice Grand Jury, Litigation and Administrative Practice Series (Criminal Law Course Handbook No. 137)
• 1983, Techniques for Dealing with Pending Criminal Charges or Criminal Investigations, Litigation and Administrative Practice Series (Criminal Law Course Handbook Series No. 130)
• 1981 Grand Jury Proceedings, Litigation and Administrative Practice (Criminal Law Course Handbook Series No. 121)

External links

• WC.com - 'Brendan V. Sullivan, Jr., Partner' (law firm home page)
• AG.ca.gov -'Prominent Washington Lawyer Joins State Attorneys General Team in Antitrust Lawsuit Against Microsoft' (press release), State of California Office of the Attorney General (October 25 2001)